Life can get busy. As a parent, when the going gets tough, it can oftentimes feel like a juggling act having to balance all the things: responsibilities at work, endless things to do around the house, managing kids’ schedules and routines, nurturing relationships, prioritizing health and wellness, self-care…the list goes on.
All of this can leave us feeling exhausted by the end of the week or before the week even ends. And like with any juggling performance, it’s not uncommon to end up dropping the ball on one thing or another. In fact, one could argue that dropping the ball is to be expected when juggling and not dropping a ball would be a unique wonder of the world.
The same is true for parenting. I’m learning it’s okay to drop the ball on some areas from time to time, especially when super busy with work, entertaining the kids, being a better partner, or needing deep cleaning around the house. It’s okay for something to take the backseat for a moment.
Below are simple ways to practice being a more intentional parent so that when the ball does have to be dropped with our children, there are tools we can draw from to help soften the blow and create more peace, love, patience and understanding:
Adjust your expectations
When it comes to being an intentional parent, one first thing we have to do is adjust our expectations and goals with parenting so that we aren’t overextending ourselves or setting ourselves up for failure. An example of adjusting expectations could look like blocking off a certain time in your day or week for quality one on one time with each child (even if it’s just for 30 minutes) rather than believing that you can realistically give everyone in your family your undivided attention whenever it’s requested throughout the day.
Come up with a plan
I have a painting in my home with this quote: “If you don’t know where you’re going, you may end up where you’re heading.” It’s a reminder to have clarity over what you desire and the direction you hope to go. To become an intentional parent, write down all the things you have in mind to do for yourself, for work, around your home, with your partner, regarding the kids, etc. Next, practice time management with those tasks. For example, your plan can be as simple as remembering to take the meat out the freezer every night so you can make your tomorrow a success or cleaning the bathroom during your kid’s bath time to kill two birds with one stone.
Illuminate yourself
Before we can fill anyone else’s cup up, we have to make time to properly fill our own. What I like to do is wake up before everyone else so that I can get an early start to my day to pray, meditate, exercise, journal, read or take my time getting myself ready for the day uninterrupted. I don’t have a set list of things that illuminate me. Rather, I am just intentional about making sure I have a good morning so it can rub off onto others. I know when I’m burnt out, I’m grumpy, so I try to rejuvenate myself with a morning routine I can look forward to. But you know you best. Carve out time daily to illuminate yourself, whatever that looks like for you.
Put the phone down
There’s a time and place for checking emails, notifications, mindless scrolling, playing games, or chatting with friends and family. During the dedicated time you have decided to spend with your family, choose connection by being fully present and in the moment. The intentionality will go a long way and will feel fulfilling for the special people in your life who love and cherish you.
Ultimately, it’s the little things we do every day that compound and make all the difference in our children’s lives. Let’s vow to be a little bit more intentional in our parenting so that we may be more present and find fulfillment and purpose as parents.
