My husband and I are both from the Midwest, so we often travel back to visit with family and friends. Gone are the days of cruising a stretch of highway while binging a podcast episode, or contemplating thoughts in silence. We have entered the “Are we there yet?” era, with two toddlers in the back of a minivan.
On our latest trip back to Northeast Ohio, I left early in the week so we could spend extra time with the grandparents before my husband was able to fly in and join us at the end of the work week. This meant I took the eight-hour drive with my two-year-old and one-year-old, without a co-pilot.
Since then, I’ve had numerous people tell me I’m crazy and that they would never attempt this, so I thought I would share some things I’ve learned.
I know my kids can make it max three hours before completely melting down, so I typically plan our first stop around two and a half hours in (not including urgent toddler “potty” breaks). In the early part of the trip, I try to let them be bored and look out the window or listen to music because they usually aren’t irritated about being in the car yet. As they get antsy, we will listen to a story or two on Spotify. You can pretty much find kids’ stories for any movie, book, show, or bible story you want to listen to.
I keep a basket of books and car-appropriate toys on the passenger seat so I can hand items back to my kids as needed. The novelty of new books or toys will keep them occupied a bit longer; visit the library, toy swap with a friend, or grab some cheap trinkets from the dollar store before the trip! I have started putting our road-trip toys away after each trip, so they feel “special” when they come out to play. I am not against utilizing screen time for road trips, but I have learned this causes my kids to become dysregulated if offered too early in the trip.
I like to time our first stop for an early lunch, and I always pack it ahead of time so we don’t waste time trying to find food or waiting in a drive through line. I typically plan to stop at a park and let my kids eat and play for up to an hour. While this might add time to our total trip, it gives us all some fresh air, helps us reset, and wears the kids out for naptime in the car. We top off gas, get mom a coffee, and then, it’s naptime! I give them each a sippy cup, and we drive in silence to encourage sleep. My one-year-old typically relents pretty quickly, but my two-year-old is a harder sell. I often have to remind her she will get to watch a movie after resting. So yes, I bribe her to take a nap because this is about survival. If she really struggles to get to sleep, I give her more books until she fades (note: I bring an endless stash of books).
The next leg of the trip is a bit unpredictable, depending on how long the kids nap. I try to push without stopping during their naptime. This is my time of peace, when I can stick an AirPod in and listen to my music or even a podcast!
When we do stop, I utilize the double stroller to keep everyone contained. Safety is a big consideration when traveling alone with little kids, so I stay on high alert when getting my kids in and out of the car. I always share my location with my husband and whoever I am traveling to meet, and I let them know when we are stopping. I never accept help from the well-meaning, kind strangers that offer, because sadly, you can’t trust anyone. Most of the time, I do the diaper change/portable potty break in the car — I keep the car running, lock the doors, and change the kids in the back, for safety purposes. I never do potty breaks alone in a parking lot with my doors open because it makes me feel too vulnerable.
The last leg of the trip, my kids get to watch a movie or a few episodes of a show. Since both of my kids are still rear facing, we use daddy’s iPad and set it up between the seats. I typically download some favorites, but also something new, and I give them a few choices. We aren’t yet to the phase where we have competing requests, so I can usually find something that keeps their attention for almost two hours. I really have no concern with utilizing a good amount of screentime for road trips. For our family, it’s a special treat and a survival tactic! If you are traveling with a co-pilot, you might opt to spend more time in the back with your kids entertaining them instead, but that is not an option in the cases of solo travel with kids.
The main thing to remember when traveling with toddlers, is to be flexible. Know there will be some meltdown moments, especially toward the end of the trip! I always leave myself the option to stop and stay at a hotel along the way if shi* hits the fan.
These rae great tips Kelsie!