This world says a lot of things about how we women don’t need men. How we are better off without them. How we can take care of ourselves and we are just as good, if not better. We raise our girls to be strong, independent, self-sufficient women who don’t need men to add anything to their lives. We venerate the Mighty Girl yet emasculate the Wild Warrior hearts of our boys. We make a mockery of manhood on TV and we vilify men for not being more like women, and then we wonder where all the good men are.
It completely breaks my heart.
Because I am of the opinion that men are incredible and we DO need them. Very desperately we need them, and we need them strong and confident and manly. They bring balance. They bring a different type of leadership. They bring a facet of life and marriage and parenting to our families that we as women will never fully be able to bring alone. So why the man-bashing?
Are there deadbeat men? Absolutely. Are there men who do more harm than good? Husbands who hunt for greener grass? Dads who walk away? Yes. But for every one bad man, I could introduce you to twenty great ones.
Talk to the women who grew up with alcoholic men or druggie men or distant men or disappearing men. Ask them if they have had to be tough and strong and independent. Ask them if they’ve ever cursed men and said, “Forget you… I don’t need you anyways.” Then ask them if they wish their story was different. Ask them if they wish that man hadn’t bailed like that. Or abused like that. Ask them if they wish that man would have been around more or been more encouraging. “Sure,” they shrug. “Every girl wants that.”
Because every girl wants that. We want a man in our life to step up and be… a man.
In Thailand there was a ministry to prostitutes. It was a long-term program where the girls lived in a dorm and were taught life and job skills. They were cleaned up. They were counseled. And they were loved. The leader of the home often shared about the week in the program where they discussed a Father’s love. She said that even the hardest of hearts breaks down during that week. That’s the week where they see more women turn a corner in their attitude and their transformation than any other.
Because Dads matter. Men matter. And when we’ve been wounded by men, it shapes us. But when we’ve been treated well by men, it empowers us.
We can hide behind our slogans or our jokes or our memes all we want, but the men in our lives matter. Their leadership and their influence on the family matter. And the way we treat them and talk about them matter. It changes everything. Because the more society tells them we don’t need them, the less motivated they are gonna be to step up and be great. Great dads. Great husbands. Great workers. Great people. Great men.
So this Father’s Day, put the jokes aside. Let your supermom guard down. Tell the men in your life how important they are to you. How much you need them and appreciate them and value them. Show them respect, and don’t be surprised if they stand a little taller. Hug a little closer. Love a little deeper.
