“I love being busy.”
I remember saying that so much in high school and college. I was heavily involved with extracurriculars, jobs, boyfriends, hanging out with friends, family time and schoolwork. I felt like I barely slowed down and I loved it. I specifically remember thinking and saying, “I’d rather be busy than bored!”
Fast forward to marriage and first “real” job:
Working all day and then coming home exhausted meant just enough time for dinner, doggy snuggles, some TV and off to bed. There were big life endeavors I had, but I was just too busy and tired to get to them. Of course, we needed to use one day of the weekend to accomplish house projects and chores and the other day to rest (aka channel surf the cable stations and watch one TBS movie after another, even though the DVD of the same movie was on the shelf next to the TV). We sometimes even got a Sunday nap in; this day of rest and laziness was integral to start the new work week off refreshed. We sure were busy. I couldn’t even find time to get to those life goals I really needed to get started on.
Fast forward to kid #1 while working:
Oh my gosh! The exhaustion! There wasn’t possibly enough time in the day to commute 90 minutes with daycare drop-off, work, commute 90 minutes back with daycare pickup, dinner, play with daughter, put her to bed, hang out with hubby and answer work emails. I relished the baby snuggles and figured I’d get to those goals and dreams when I could become a stay at home mom.
Fast forward to kid #1 while staying home:
When my daughter turned 18 months, I became a stay at home mom! I had wanted this ever since my child was born. I put my PowerPoint skills to work and made a presentation for my husband to convince him this was the right decision. There were so many exciting plans I had in store to spend time with my little one, while using my “free time” to get back to those goals of mine. I guess I didn’t realize how much time a child takes up when they’re not at daycare.
Fast forward to kid #2:
What happened?! As a SAHM with one kid the days moved sooooooo slowly, but then with two I couldn’t believe nighttime arrived so quickly each day. I had to put those aspirations on the back burner again. Figured I’d get to them later, once the kids were old enough to play together and leave mommy alone.
Fast forward to kid #3:
To those that say, “The days are long, but the years are short,” I disagree on the first part. The days zoom by, leaving me wondering when I’ll ever accomplish all those things I wanted to do. Wait, do I even still want to do those things? Some of them, yes. But instead of saying, “I accomplished this at 25,” I may be saying, “I accomplished this at 45.”
Fast forward to three kids and a pandemic:
There’s no free time! I’ve had three shadows for six months. I can’t think. Words aren’t coming out of my mouth correctly. I don’t know how I feel at any given point of the day. But wait…my kids are only of preschool and elementary age! They’re not even doing anything yet! When my kids are older and in sports and instrument lessons and Christmas programs and driver’s ed…then what?! Right now, I don’t start my personal goals until 9pm or 10pm every night. When they’re teenagers and more involved, and we’re supporting their endeavors and going to bed later and I’m possibly back to work, then what time will I start? Midnight?! I wish I wasn’t so busy.
