You got up dragging. Your head feels like there’s a block in it, and your legs, like you’ve hauled a bunch of bricks. We’ve all been there.
Maybe your exhaustion is from that sweet new baby. She’s precious, wrapped in her soft pink blanket with her tiny body snuggled against your chest, but she’s also the reason you doze in spurts and can’t remember what a full night’s sleep feels like. Or maybe your frugal nature drove you to buy your kids a highly discounted outdoor playset from Facebook Marketplace, and you spent the past weekend disassembling, repairing, and reassembling said playset. (Does that sound oddly specific? Haha.) Maybe you have an autoimmune disease and every day feels like some form of constant exhaustion. Or perhaps you’ve been stuck balancing long days at work with your busy family life, feeling that you have no time for yourself. You’re physically and emotionally spent.
Whatever the cause, if you’re experiencing the exhaustion that often accompanies motherhood, you’re in good company.
What do we do on those days? How do we manage to pull ourselves together enough to make it through the day and care for our families along the way?
Here are some ideas that I’ve found useful:
Embrace where you are today, with grace.
The further I’ve come along in motherhood, the more I’ve come to see the value in accepting the unique place in which I find myself each day. Rather than viewing my fatigue with judgment, I ask myself: What would I do for a friend in this situation? My answer has never been to make them feel guilty about where they are. I’d sit and chat with them. I’d offer them grace rather than judgment, knowing that like all of us, they’re doing the best they can. Offer yourself that same grace.
Learn to say no.
Part of embracing your current state is learning your limits and having enough respect for yourself to hold to them. That’s as important to remember for the adults in your life as it is for the kids. When I’m tired, I don’t play cars on the floor with my five-year-old. I’m not chasing the soccer ball with my older boy. It’s as important for me to learn to maintain boundaries as it is for my kids to accept boundaries. We compromise. Instead of running around with soccer, we shoot hoops together. My son understands that I love him, and that it’s okay for mom to be tired. For the adults in your life, remember that “No” is a complete sentence. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
Let go of what you can.
You know those dishes that have been sitting in the sink since yesterday morning? They aren’t going anywhere. If you leave them so you can rest for the next thirty minutes or three hours, they’ll still be there when you get up. The author, Nora Roberts, once said the following: “The key to juggling is to know that some of the balls you have in the air are made of plastic and some are made of glass. And if you drop a plastic ball, it bounces, no harm done. If you drop a glass ball, it shatters, so you have to know which balls are glass and which are plastic and prioritize catching the glass ones.”
Dishes and housework are seldom your glass balls. Let them go for a day. When you’re tired, with limited energy, you need to be more particular with how you spend it. The dishes don’t care if you didn’t give them any attention, but the people in your life do. They’re the glass balls.
Find something that brings you joy.
Intentionally carve out some time for something that will fill your bucket. It doesn’t have to be anything grand. Sit outside in the sunshine for a few minutes. Take a hot shower. Play your favorite song on repeat for the next twenty minutes. Pet your dog. Finding pockets of joy can help even our most exhausting day feel worthwhile.
Remember that scrolling through social media seldom brings real joy. The constant comparison of your life to that which you see online will often exacerbate your fatigue and bring an added layer of weariness. Social media is fun and definitely has its place, but it’s not the same as resting.
My personal favorite: sit down and snuggle.
My kids are growing up too fast. I know it doesn’t always feel like it, especially on these days, but when it’s all over, and I have an empty house, there will be plenty of time to clean up the living room and vacuum and dust. Today, take a moment to remember why you’re a mom and what that means to you. In the meantime, I’m going to wrap my arms around my littles and snuggle them close. Nothing helps me feel better.
