If you could grade yourself as a parent, what grade would you give yourself? Most days, I would probably give myself a B-. I’m fairly confident in my parenting skills, though my inability to cook and my child’s 99% carbohydrate diet would be the main reason for my self-assigned shortcomings. But all that aside, every parent has those days where we are struggling to get our heads above water, feeling like we are just barely making a passing grade at parenting. It’s not often I have those days, but when I do, they hit me hard.
With my husband working full-time and being a full-time student, I tend to be the primary parent, taking her to daycare, picking her up from daycare, taking her on outings while my husband spends hours tackling his homework. Most days I don’t mind and I’m more than happy to take my daughter on adventures. But today wasn’t most days—I probably would have given myself an F in the parenting department. While my husband was working on homework, I took our daughter out shopping, just to get out of the house and burn off some energy. My daughter was everywhere, into everything, and she just wouldn’t listen. I kept scolding her, telling her I would carry her if she wouldn’t behave, and my patience was wearing thin. After a few rounds of the pick up and put down game, we quickly departed, daughter in my arms, as we headed home for her nap.
While she was napping, I regrouped, calmed myself down, and was more than happy to see my husband come home. When our daughter woke up from her nap, we decided to attempt shopping round number two, this time with my husband in tow. He took her to the pet store, while I ventured into the adjoining home décor store. And it was there I had my first out of body parenting experience.
As I casually walked around the store, enjoying the solitude of shopping while my husband and daughter were next door, I encountered a mother carrying her toddler son down the aisle I was in. She was explaining to him that she wasn’t going to set him down because he wasn’t behaving. He was pleading with her to put him back down so he could walk. After several pleas, I finally heard her consent, saying she would only put him down if he would behave and stay close. He said yes, and she instructed him to say “Yes, ma’am.” And when he uttered “Yes, ma’am,” she relinquished him to the ground.
I was dumbfounded. This was ME, mere hours ago, and here I was, watching myself all over again, play-by-play. Have you ever had the chance to watch yourself parent? It’s a surreal and life-altering moment. I would have given that mother an A in parenting, but why wouldn’t I have given myself an A? Because we all feel like we are doing a worse job than we really are. In truth, that woman in the store is me. And she’s every. single. mother. We all have areas we think we can improve in, but the only area we can really improve in is not doubting ourselves or our parenting styles. Every mother deserves an A+, even on the days when we feel like we are barely making the grade.
What grade would you give yourself in parenting?
