You just said, “That’s what she said,” in your head. Didn’t you. If you did, you’re my kind of people. It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. Not only in a classic R&B song way, but in how my heart feels right now way. I didn’t expect it to feel this way when I made the decision.
I’ve always promised to be open and honest with you all. And I’ve been true to my word.
If you read my previous post, it won’t be a surprise to learn that I lost my job in May. That, accompanied by job searching in this economy and trying to take care of a child and responsibilities, I realized I needed to ask for help. I realized I needed to swallow my pride, and admit to myself that it’s okay that this isn’t working.
It’s no fault of your own. It’s okay to take a step back.
So I made one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever made in my life. I decided to move back home. At thirty. I feel so lame. Like, who at my age does that? Everyone I see and that’s in my circle of friends is married, happy, and has no financial worries. Those thoughts made me feel so small and insecure. Was I a bad adult? Was I a bad mom?
I think all of us have felt that way at some point in our lives, if we’re being honest with each other. I prayed and prayed on this decision and prayed some more, before finally coming to peace with it.
I’m moving back home, but I won’t be stagnant about it. I’m a fighter, a bad you know what, and a person with the agility to adapt and survive. My plan is to return back to school and get my master’s in psychology. I’ll finish school before I’m forty (What the heck. WHY!?), and then I have two choices: teach at a college level or become a therapist.
I’m honestly happy with either pathway. Both will allow me to serve others in ways that I am passionate about. Mental health, healing, and starting anew.
So with that…this is my goodbye.
It breaks my heart to have to leave the Knoxville Moms team and even more heartbreak comes from knowing that I will be leaving the most beautiful place that has been my home for two years. A place where everyone is family, where the “it takes a village” mentality is REAL. This is the place where friends helped me overcome heartbreak, helped me with B, and the same community of women, who dropped off feminine products to me when I was sick with Covid and Aunt Flo showed up. Knoxville will always take up a big part of my heart — for the community and all of the lessons this city taught me.
