Before you throw Conversation Hearts at me, hear me out.
According to the National Retail Federation’s survey, individuals said they would spend an average $161.96 this year on Valentine’s Day. That’s up 13% from last year’s $143.56. If you’re married, that price doubles. We are almost forced to celebrate a holiday that has no meaning. It doesn’t reflect when my husband and I were married, when our baby was born, our birthdays, etc. This holiday has no personal connection to anyone except the loving couples who were engaged or married on Valentine’s Day (cough, cough mom).
My problem with V-day began at a young age.
I remember around the time I was in third grade; I was carefully reading each valentine to determine who’s name I would put on which card. Goodness forbid I gave a boy a flirty card (do other kids even read them?). This continued onto middle school and high school. Let’s not talk about the carnation surprise or box of chocolates you can pre-pay to be delivered to your crush in class — talk about the ultimate shame and embarrassment. For the record, no I never received one. No one broke my heart on this overly romantic day, and I am not single. I am happily married to my husband, who doesn’t need one day a year to make me feel love and appreciated. I don’t want $80 roses and $20 box of chocolate.
Do you know what the best day of the year is? February 15th, 75% off candy!
To add to my long list of reasons why I hate V-day are valentine card boxes. How many of you all rolled your eyes? I hear ya! If you don’t know what I’m talking about, a simple Pinterest search should help. This has turned into a parent competition with who can make the most spectacular princess unicorn card box accompanied by a shimmery horn, voluptuous eyelashes, and an ombre of pink to purple skin. If your daughter really likes a challenge, how about a Starbucks pink velvet Frappuccino box with whipped cream and a swirling Pirouline? I would love to hear how many of you all have already started constructing these beautiful papier-mâché masterpieces. Fortunately, I am a boy mom and a race car can easily be constructed in under five minutes.
Over the past 15 years, what used to be a private romantic holiday has turned into a complete public declaration of love. If you write a 1000-word mini-blog about your love on Facebook, do you still buy a card? What is the protocol? You’re probably thinking, “I would hate to be her husband.” He always buys me something even though he knows how I feel. Last year it was half-dead carnations and a big bag of Dove chocolate. Some of you may have spat at his effort, but that was all I needed. We had a six-month-old, were sleep deprived, and he worked all day at the hospital. He went to Kroger and bought what was left. I was surprised and ecstatic.