Wondering how to survive being a stay-at-home mom? Here’s a survivor’s guide you probably didn’t know you needed.
If you’ve been thinking about becoming a stay-at-home mom or if you have already made the transition to becoming a stay-at-home mom, then you know that being a stay-at-home mom is a JOB. Although rewarding with unlimited kisses and snuggles, staying home with your little ones 24/7 is no easy feat. It’ll require that you readjust your time as you once knew it and cause you to squeeze in your life outside of motherhood into the golden window of nap time (or whenever you can get a break).
So if you’re wondering how to survive being a stay-at-home mom and what it’s really like, here’s what I would recommend to get you through that first year (and beyond) when making the transition to do motherhood full-time at home.
If you’ve fantasized about being a stay-at-home mom, you probably imagined having a perfectly well-behaved child who did what they were told and what you wanted all the time, maybe having breathing room to enjoy time freedom, and frequent breaks in your day to just bask in the bliss and wonder and awe.
However, the reality of being a stay-at-home mom is a lot more exhausting. You’re basically on call 24/7. You have to keep track of everything there is under the sun, be energized, prep food, clean, be an educator, be a clown, set up playdates, attend a list of wellness checks and other doctors appointments, manage your home, clean some more, etc. The list goes on. And somewhere in there you’ll somehow have to find the time to be an amazing partner, pursue your aspirations, be the old you (if you miss it), and upkeep relationships you established before ever becoming a mom.
Being a stay-at-home mom is physically demanding. The bulk of the responsibilities fall on you. So if you’re wondering how to survive being a stay-at-home mom, here’s what I’m learning that’s helping me find happiness and thrive in this new role and identity.
Find A Hobby.
When you become a stay-at-home mom after being in the workforce, you may find yourself combating depression. It’s a huge adjustment going from living your life for you and having a social life to having little to no adult interactions on a daily basis and having your life revolve around a baby. The depression could be postpartum or it could come from living a more isolated lifestyle now. I recommend finding a hobby you enjoy to combat some of these feelings and have an identity outside of being a mom. Even if you don’t get out of the house much, it’s important to keep up with doing some of the things you enjoyed B.C. (before child).
Make Mom Friends.
As I mentioned, because being a stay-at-home mom is a heavily isolated occupation, it’s important to have friends and other moms who you can relate to during this new chapter of your life. It’s also a good idea to make friends with moms who have children around the same age as yours so you can get together for play dates, cope, and connect over what you’re going through when faced with the similar stages of your child’s development.
A social network I enjoy for making mom friends is an app called Peanut. It’s basically like Tinder for moms seeking friends and play dates. There are also articles, groups, and audio pods that take place on the app as well with relevant information for every kind of mom on every journey and almost every country — whether you’re a single mom, step mom, stay-at-home mom, working mom, or trying to conceive, etc. There is something for everyone. I made some great local connections through this app when I moved to a new state while pregnant and needed to build a community of friends in my new town for both myself and my little one.
Get Dressed.
When you make the shift from working a 9 to 5 to becoming a stay-at-home mom, it’s easy to fall into frumpy mode. You’re not required to get ready at a specific time of day. You have no real reason to leave the house other than to run to the grocery store or doctor’s appointment. And for this reason, it’s easy to live in t-shirts and leggings all day everyday and not really care that much about how you look — unless you have places to go that *require* more than just leggings.
After living this lifestyle for a while (and looking like a potato sack), I realized my mood significantly improved on the days when I dressed up. It doesn’t have to be the full sha-bang, but being intentional about the outfit of the day, wearing perfume, skincare or light makeup, and putting more effort into styling my hair were the winning combination. Try changing your outlook about getting ready and approach it like you’re “getting ready for work” in the mornings before your boss (a.k.a. baby) wakes up.
Get In A Quick Win.
In the morning before you put on your mom hat or do anything for anyone else, do something for yourself first. Spend the first 15-30 minutes of your day nourishing yourself or crushing a personal goal. Get in a quick win like reading a chapter of a book you’ve been desiring, doing a 20 minute workout from YouTube, or taking a long shower, etc. You name it. It’s easy to forget about taking care of yourself or doing something for you once your schedule gets preoccupied with taking care of the house, kids, and everyone else.
I loved this saying when I first heard it and that was: “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” We all have goals and desires. And we shouldn’t completely forget about them just because we’re now parents. Think about what’s most important to you and the quality of your life. Then carve out time first thing in the morning to make sure you’re incorporating moments into your day that align with your personal aspirations.
Meal Prep.
I don’t know why it’s this way, but as a stay-at-home mom, I tend to spend a lot of unwanted time in the kitchen (or thinking about the kitchen). Making breakfast, packing snacks and milk for the kiddo before we leave the house, prepping lunch, more snacks, dinner, and dishes. When it was just me, I survived off oatmeal and tea every morning, which took up maybe five minutes in the morning or I’d eat something that was grab and go. Now that I’m a mom and have a picky eater toddler, I find myself spending more time thinking about meals and how to sneak in veggies, and making sure my kid is eating from all the different food groups. Also I’m experimenting with finding out what my toddler will actually eat and getting her to try new things. It can be a lot.
So as someone who dreads spending more than 20-30 minutes at a time in the kitchen, I’m finding that meal prepping, making freezer meals, crockpot meals, and one pan dishes are huge time savings and life savers! If you like cooking with friends, you may also try arranging a potluck Meal Prep Party to help you enjoy the process a bit more. Meal preps for the win!
Work On Your Dreams.
If you want to survive being a stay-at-home mom, you have to not forget about your dreams. Find ways to express the side of you that you loved whether that’s career-wise or otherwise. Continue to be the woman of your dreams, even if that’s spending time getting educated about a thing, working out, getting involved, or making purchases that are more in line with what you envision for your future. Inch by inch and everything’s a cinch. If you want to see how I balance freelance writing with a baby, check out this blog with 13 smart tips. Even if you don’t have a side hustle, just remember to not forget about your dreams too.
Being a stay-at-home mom is arguably one of the best investments you could ever possibly make in your life. You are investing yourself into the life of your child and their overall well-being. It’s the absolute most rewarding job there is, and like all jobs, it also comes with its own set of challenges.
Hopefully this list helps you survive being a stay-at-home mom whether you’re committing to do it for a year, two years, or more. You’ve got this!
