Chances are, if you’re reading this, you’re probably a stay-at-home mom (or you want to be). Maybe you’re burnt out from your normal day-to-day responsibilities. Or maybe you’re feeling overstimulated from everyone constantly pulling at you non-stop. If you’re curious about how other stay-at-home moms get a break, especially when juggling the everyday demands of your family, home, and adulting in general, then you’re in luck.
That’s exactly what I’m going to share with you from my own experience as a stay-at-home mom along with ways you can rest, recharge and take care of yourself so you can be happy when you take care of everything else.
Why Stay-At-Home Moms Need A Break
When you’re a stay home mom, it’s easy to feel like your job is never done. The main reason for this is because there is no set time when you clock in and clock out. In fact, because you are a stay-at-home mom, you might feel a certain level of obligation to be the one to step up in the event that your child wakes up throughout the night (on a work night for your partner) or in the event that the house is still a mess after bedtime or if your partner needs you after your child is in bed.
So if you’re wondering how stay-at-home moms get a break because you’re looking for a way to recharge, here are ways you can do just that:
1. Get Your Kid On A Sleep Schedule
Naps
As an introvert and the primary caregiver, I need my toddler’s naps. It’s my opportunity for quiet time, me time, an opportunity where I can make money from home, or a chance for me to get done whatever I’d rather get done while kid-free.
Since I am a stay-at-home-mom, it is easy to structure my days around my toddler’s nap schedule. In the beginning, that looked like napping whenever my daughter napped. Now that she’s two-years-old, that looks like spending the morning burning her energy out, eating lunch around the same time every day, and then laying her down for a nap immediately after lunch. Thankfully, these days even though she’s down to only one nap a day, her nap is long. She naps for about three hours, which is just enough time to get a solid amount of rest in or work done — whichever is more of a priority that day.
Most days my toddler goes immediately to sleep when I lay her in her crib, but there have been some days when she fights it at first, and probably won’t fall asleep until maybe 30 minutes or so after. Either way, I remain consistent with laying her down at the same time every day so even if she doesn’t fall asleep right away (or sleep for long), I can still count on having that quiet time to catch a break and recharge.
Bedtime Routine
In the same way that having a consistent nap schedule comes in clutch, so does making sure your kid goes to bed around the same time every night. For us, that means making sure we are at home in time to start our bedtime routine around the same time so we can be consistent. We try to be home by 6pm every day — if not sooner. That way we can get our daughter in a bubble bath, start/eat dinner, and do the rest of our bedtime routine without feeling rushed. The exact time we lay our toddler down really depends on how successful (and how long) she laid down during her nap. If for example, she didn’t wake up until 3-4pm, that means we’ll aim to be in bed around 8ish.
Stop Co-Sleeping
Speaking of a bedtime routine, a great way I found I’ve been able to get a break in as a stay-at-home mom has been by making the decision to stop co-sleeping. Instead, we lay our girl down in her own crib in her own room for bedtime.
Don’t get me wrong; there was a period of time when our girl slept with us or in our room because I am a breastfeeding mama. I found co-sleeping to be super convenient when our girl wasn’t sleeping through the night. I could just roll over and nurse without having to fix a bottle or get out of bed. It was SO convenient and worked great. We did our research on the safest way to go about co-sleeping for our family.
However, once she started to sleep for longer stretches, we made the decision to lay her down in her own crib. This was starting at around four-months-old. My husband was ready to lay down in our bed again since we kicked him out to co-sleep! So, since around four months of age, our daughter has been sleeping in her own room. It was a little hard at first introducing the new routine, but after 3-4 days, our girl seemed to adjust fine and settle into her new bedtime routine very well.
We haven’t had any problems with her sleeping ever since. Or if we do, we know something’s wrong that requires our attention or that she’s not feeling well. For this reason, I would say weaning our girl off of co-sleeping was probably one of the best decisions ever for everyone’s sleep and sanity — especially mine as a stay-at-home mom on days when I need a mom break.
If you’re looking for recommendations on the best baby monitor to help you have peace of mind, here is my all-time favorite!
Become An Early Riser
Want to know one of the best and most effective ways you can guarantee some “me time” into your day? Wake up before everyone else. Waking up earlier could give you the extra opportunity to have some peace and quiet and me time. You can take a long shower without feeling rushed, take care of yourself, pray, journal, meditate or do whatever else you want to do to fill yourself up first before you pour into everyone else. I think about the time as if I’m getting myself “ready for work” before my boss wakes up. It gives me the chance to get into the right mental headspace and illuminate myself so I can illuminate the world.
2. Ask For Help
From Family
Chances are if you are a stay-at-home mom, you already have support at home. Support can come in the form of your partner or the grandparents for example. Communicate with your partner about when each of you will have alone time with the child. Sometimes it may feel natural to just sit back and wait for the other parent to volunteer to help. However, to avoid building up resentment and assuming your partner knows you need a break, it’s a good idea to speak up and ask for help.
Obviously, if you need a break as a stay-at-home mom and you have a partner, I’m sure you’ve already asked for what you want. However, if you do not have support (or much support) at home or from family members due to work schedule conflicts or for other reasons, here’s what you can do.
Pay For Help
There are actually lots of different ways stay-at-home moms get a break. One of the most trusted ways is to hire help. You can pay babysitters or nannies to come for a few hours to offer you some relief. I’ve found success on Care.com or by asking friends for referrals.
Depending on where you live, there may also be Mother’s Day out programs offered by the area churches to give you the opportunity two or three days out of the week to have consistent childcare for a few hours so you can take a break and do something for you. This opportunity is usually only available to toddlers starting at 18 months in some areas, although that may vary depending on where you live.
Also, did you know? Some gyms (like the YMCA) offer childcare as a part of their membership plans for either free or extremely low cost. There are so many options out there when you’re ready to pay for childcare — but not quite ready for daycare. If you have a few dollars to spare, it’s well worth the investment into some time off.
Trade For Help
Sometimes paying for childcare isn’t an option. I know everyone’s situation is different. However, if you’re open to it, you may try to swap out help with your friends or family. For example, you volunteer to watch the kids for date night in exchange for them volunteering to watch yours another night. If they have a nanny, maybe sharing the nanny for a mom’s day out. Or if your friends don’t have kids, maybe you can agree to watch their pets when they’re out on vacation or do them some other kind of favor in exchange for giving you a mom break here and there.
If you want to know how stay-at-home moms get a break, it comes in one of two ways: You’re going to need to ask for help or get your break when your kid is sleeping. Asking for help and getting your child to sleep separately from you is establishing a healthy boundary. Your peace of mind and sanity depend on it!
