How A Disney Song Taught Me To Be A Better Parent




By now we’ve probably all seen the movie “Frozen,” whether in theaters or the moment it arrived on your doorstep this week. And I’m sure we’ve all heard the most popular song from the movie, whether it was being sung by Idina Menzel or Adele Dazeem.  We’ve been singing this song in carpool lanes, while cooking, even at before-bed dance parties.  I’ll be honest… the first three-word phrase that each of my twins started saying was (let’s all shout) “Let It Go!”

But have you ever stopped to really listen to the lyrics?  I did and realized that it was the perfect song to make me a better parent.  Sure, Elsa showing her true self should be inspiring to my almost five-year-old, but in reality she just likes the pretty dresses and ice castle.  And the foot stomping.  Oh, the foot stomping.  But it was I who Elsa spoke to, and I’ve been really trying hard to listen, even if I start tuning it out after about the tenth time in one day.

“Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know”

How many times have we told our sons and daughters to be good?  I’m pretty sure I tell my children that every day, especially when I drop S off at pre-K.  But now I try to tell her to have fun.  I don’t want her to feel pressured to act a certain way because I’ve told her to be good.  She knows right from wrong. I’m not giving her the freedom to act like a hellion, but I’m giving her the opportunity to be herself.  I want her to let her teachers and friends know if she’s having a bad day.  I don’t want her to hide her feelings and keep them bottled up inside, ready to explode.  I want to have honest conversations about how she feels, even if sometimes she doesn’t know how to explain them.

“I don’t care
What they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway”

I don’t want my children to care about what people say about them; I don’t want their self-worth to depend on what others think.  But I know they will.  And I know it’s my job to instill in them the confidence that they are making the right decisions even when they might be left out in the cold.

“It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all”

I want to teach them that there is a large life out there.  That as they get older, the things they are experiencing slowly drift away into distant memories.  I want them to know that as they grow, they will become different people and that is OK. That the fears they have as kindergartners, eighth graders, or college seniors don’t have to control them and that they can overcome them and lead amazing lives.

“Let it go, let it go
And I’ll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone”

And I learned that I need to let it go — to let go of the idea that my children are perfect.  They won’t always be on best behavior, and that is OK.  I want them to be children, not miniature adults.  I want them to wake up each morning with laughs and smiles that will brighten the dreariest of days.  But I also want them to know that if they are in a grumpy mood, that is OK, too.  I want to shield them from disappointment, but raise them knowing life isn’t always peaches and cream.  I just want them to be themselves.

Are your children addicted to “Frozen” or “Let It Go” like mine are? Did you find Elsa inspiring like I did? I’d love to hear how Elsa or Anna has made an impact on your life (or not).  And I’d love to hear how many times you’ve watched the movie.



  1. This is great! I’ll be honest… we have not watched Frozen yet (blasphemy, I know) but I can’t avoid the song. And I really only know the first four lines. But your take on it is truly inspiring! Makes me want to watch it even more. Thank you!

    • We’ve only seen the movie ONCE!!! But the song is on heavy rotation at our house. At first it was just a song, but once I really started listening to the words, it kinda became my anthem! As for the movie, I think your little P would love it.

  2. Very interesting. As my daughter keeps singing it, I did start to learn the words (she keeps asking, what’s next Mama?) “Let it Go” resonated. If we have a bad moment (as parents or kids), we can “Let it Go”. If we are in a bad mood (again the parent or the child), we CAN “Let it Go”. I want my kids to know it’s ok to feel bad or disappointed that your favorite snack is gone, or you don’t have any more screen time today or that you have to do homework, but then you can Let Go of that bad feeling and turn your attitude around. Start over, feel better, move on, we can “Let it Go” and go have some fun! Maybe I will start singing it when my son has to study his spelling words and his bad attitude creeps up…. or when the dog needs to be walked, I’m trying to cook dinner and I have two “starving” kids in the kitchen waiting on me (Let it Go, Let it Go…) Yes, good lesson for all of us, Katie. Great Job!

    • It’s it really just a great song? And once I really listened to the words, I loved Elsa even more. Poor misunderstood Elsa. We often tell the kids to “Let it Go” when they are in the middle of a tantrum. Not sure they understand, but then they start saying it and the crying stops–momentarily.
      And it’s good for me to remember too. Pick up the house or go outside & play—let it go. Wash dishes or play 5 games of Candyland–let it go. These kids are growing up way to fast. I need to let what I can go & enjoy them while I still can.

  3. I totally agree with you Katie. Parents need to stop having hang ups about this song being everywhere, always and “Let It Go”! Embrace it! I use it as a tool to open up conversation during “drama moments” with my kids. Pretty much any of the lyrics can be used to apply to many of life’s challenges for a 5 year old. Great blog addition!


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