Funny Things Our Kids Say

We all have them: amusing, hilarious, laugh-out-loud funny things our kids have said. Sometimes they even border on awkward or inappropriate, which may even make them funnier (you know, a couple years later when you’ve had time to recover from what they said to a complete stranger in the grocery store)! Whether it’s a parent chuckling at a toddler’s attempt to pronounce a new word or a four-year-old being WAY too honest, these anecdotes are gifts we get to laugh at for years to come. And I do mean years; my parents still like to remind me of funny or embarrassing things I said, and that was almost 30 years ago now! If you need a laugh, read on to see some of the funniest things some of our Knoxville Moms contributors’ children have said. 

One of my favorites from my own son, Will, who just turned three: 

While putting him to bed: 

Will: I love your glasses, Dad.

Will: I love your face, Mom.

Us: Thanks Will, we love your face too.

Me: Do you love Dad’s face?

Will: No, Dad doesn’t have a face. He just has glasses.

From Ashley G. 

Her son Maddox, to a total stranger at a gas station: 

“My mom says her face is really oily. She carries these wipe things in her purse to wipe all the oil off.” 

Her son Walker: 

Walker: Hey mom! People at school think I’m as handsome as George Clooney! 

Ashley: Oh okay bud, like who? 

Walker: Me. I think I’m as handsome as George Clooney. 

Her son Finn: 

Ashley, sitting quietly reading a magazine in the dining room. 

Finn: What are you doing, you ole sea witch?

From Audrey M. 

“One that sticks out is from when my son was about 4 or 5. He said ‘Little presents are better than big presents because big presents are usually ovens or couches.’ I’m not sure where he got that!”

From Jordan M. 

“Every time we ask my son to say a prayer it goes: ‘Dear Heavenly Father…we are thankful for…POOP.’”

From Ashley B. 

“When my son was born and he would scream, my daughter would always say, “’Mom, just let him milk you!’ He was a breastfed baby and that was always the answer to screaming.” 

From Jamie M.

Me: “This road that we’re on right now is the highway.” Her (age three): “Where’s the littleway?” 

“While walking through the quiet library my three-year-old daughter shouted, ‘I’m tooting all over the place!”’

“After returning home from the fire department day at school my five-year-old daughter informed me that if you catch on fire you have to stop, rock and roll.”  

There you have it: hilarious stories from the mouths of babes. Share some of your own favorite kid quotes with us!