We all have that one friend… You know, the one that’s too nosy, asks too many questions, interrupts you at any given chance, and steals your food when you aren’t looking. But then again, maybe you don’t call them your friend, maybe you call them your kids. But my three-year-old is my friend. In fact, I’d wager to say she’s one of my best friends, and I hope she always will be.
Does being a friend to my daughter affect my parenting skills? No — it enhances them. I’m invested in my child, as both her mother and her friend. Granted, she’s still so young, and only time will tell, but I already have a pretty good idea of the future ahead because my mom is also one of my best friends.
In fact, the relationship I have with my mother is one of the main reasons I always hoped for a little girl. I was never baby crazy, but my mother and I have such a great relationship, I knew I would want to have a similar relationship with my own daughter someday.
And so I hope it will be with my daughter. When she gets a crush on a boy in school, I hope that she’ll come tell me first. If she wants to stay out until 11pm with a group of friends one night, I cross my fingers that she’ll just ask instead of trying to sneak out of the house. Do I expect her to tell me her darkest, deepest intimate moments later on in life? Definitely not, but I hope she sees me as a friend and a parent, someone for her to confide in, a shoulder for her to cry on and someone to look up to, listen to and respect.
Perhaps I’m a bit naive since I’m only a parent of one, but I just don’t buy the arguments that parents shouldn’t be friends with their children. As long as you know when the time is right to be a parent and when the time is right to be a friend, I see no reason why parents shouldn’t consider the benefits of being a friend to their children.
For mothers and daughters (and forgive me as I’m sure there is just as special of a bond between mothers and sons, I just haven’t experienced it yet), there are a lifetime of magical moments to be both friends and parents. Styling her hair and rubbing blush on her cheeks for her first school dance, being outside the dressing room and oohing and aahing over every wedding dress she tries on, giving her morning sickness advice and picking out newborn clothes, or holding her hand and cheering her on through labor.
