Monkey #1 is what I call my “learning child,” as I often don’t think of teaching him some things because it just doesn’t occur to me that he’s old enough yet! But usually, once we start, he picks it up quickly, and I want to smack myself for not thinking of it sooner! While visiting another KMB Contributor’s home last year for dinner, I noticed how much she let her kids do things themselves, telling me that she only really checks to be sure they’ve done a good job. Since her kids are only a bit older than mine, I realized this was an area we needed to work on.
As Monkey #1 will be 6 this fall, we’re starting to incorporate some independence in his routine. For a while now, he has been asking to do more for himself, and for “chores,” and I have realized that I really no longer need to do everything with him. I am just starting to get out of baby mode, so I’m learning to create more opportunity for him to be independent, do things for himself, and learn more “big-kid” stuff. So we’ve started encouraging him shower by himself (they have one of those telescoping shower heads in their bathroom), only helping to wash his hair when needed. We’re trying to give him more privacy when changing or going to the bathroom too (this is sometimes hard with little brothers!). And we encourage some alone time in his day, even if it’s just ten minutes in the office to read a book. Since starting this, he has really blossomed, as if it has opened a whole new world to him!
He has also gained my love for cooking/baking and crafting. Since I remember being a very young participant in the kitchen (thanks Mom!), I try to let him do as much as possible. It was a very conscious effort for me to allow him to use the blender the first time, but he loved it!
I am also trying to incorporate little brothers in this process. We have always focused on ensuring our boys will clean up toys from a young age (around 10 months), and they’ve always done pretty well. We recently moved into a new apartment, and in the kids’ bathroom, there are some shelves that naturally have space for laundry baskets underneath. I decided to put three of them there, and we have been teaching the boys how to sort whites, colors, and darks, and tell me when they’re full. Even the baby (2 years-old in August) will put his clothes in the baskets. I may have to show him which basket, but it’s amazing how much he understands, and it’s so darn cute!
Another thing we’ve started is folding. They love helping to match socks (THANK GOD, because I hate that part), and are now learning how to fold. I start by separating the load into piles of their own clothes, and I fold #3’s clothes while the other two fold their own. I have had to let go of nice and neat folding, but it’s surprising how well they do! And when putting away, I hand them the stacks, and they put them in the dresser.
Even such a small change has been SO helpful for me!
Some of the other ways I encourage independence: asking for help from grocery store employees (such as where things are), paying cash for things for me (he’s learning to count money right now), helping sort recycling at home and putting it in the appropriate bins at the recycling center, taking turns with #2 unlocking the door when we get home, taking the trash out with me, and anything else I can get his help with.
The youngest is really too young to learn much on his own. He does watch his brothers doing this stuff, so I’m hoping it makes for an easy transition to doing it as well. In the meantime, he does try to help himself, as you can see here:
What are some ways you’re teaching your kids independence?
 can participate in at home, while helping you out!){kind=link}
My older two have been doing their own laundry for several years now. By age 9, they’re doing their own clothes. We supervise at first to make sure they’re sorting, but they get the concept of “light vs dark” pretty quickly. By age 7, they begin cooking lessons (simple stuff like eggs, mac and cheese, etc).
When I got a new Dustbuster vacuum, I wouldn’t let my kids use it for several months because it was “special.” It wasn’t that special. But when I finally “gave in” and let them use it, they couldn’t get enough. Tom Sawyer is my role model.
Squish is getting his own set of chores this summer. He’ll to be responsible for feeding the dog and picking up the living room floor. I’ve let him stay a baby far too long. He needs to be a big kid!
I need you to come teach my boys!
The secret is to tell them that they can’t because they’re too young.