Confessions of A Sleep Deprived Mama

When it comes to matters of sleep, I could write a book. Really. That book might not be a short one either. I wish I was kidding. By this point in motherhood (seven years in) I have trained both of my children, my husband and the dog to sleep. (We don’t even have a dog but let’s just pretend that if I did he would be sleep trained.) And just to keep it fair and honest I really didn’t have to train my husband either. He was already sleeping like a rock when I married him so I saw no need to mess with that.

All that to say that sleeping well and often is something I take very seriously. Trust me, if you’d been born nocturnal like me, you would understand my neurotic obsession with making sure my children didn’t turn out like their mama in this department. Also I just want to note that in the case that you can’t tell already, this is an area of my life that I’ve just chosen to roll with and laugh at. I tell everyone that it’s my “thorn in the flesh” and as the years have passed that has turned out to be the truth. However, I don’t fret about it and worry or obsess over it. I just deal with it the best that I can and move right along.

My sweet sister is about to deliver her firstborn and I often look at her these days when she’s passed out snoring and think, “Oh sister. Sleep while you can!” However, it’s not fair of me to blame all of my sleep deprivation on my children alone. It all started for me about my second or third year of college. I was a nursing major and worked all kinds of crazy shifts. This continued after graduation and through most of my twenties. Whoever said that the night shift was a good time to learn also forgot to add that along with that it’s a good time to forget how to sleep as well. I haven’t worked a night shift now in six years and I STILL wake up at 3am and crave lunch.

I know, I’m a weird creature by this point.

After I went to day shift I had my babies and oh my goodness. I feel like that alone should explain my sleeping pattern over the last five years or so. Those people that bring newborns home and they’re sleeping within a few week’s time? Yeah, I did not have myself one of those. Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure I had gotten into such an erratic sleeping pattern myself that I probably started my babies off on the wrong foot to begin with. However, about a year in and I quickly realized that we were going to be the house of chaos if I didn’t set some order soon.

So I did and I’m happy to say that I feel like I’ve made two little great sleepers (well…one of them is better than the other) over the course of my years as a mom. Now, if I could only add myself to that mix…

I feel like this is a no-brainer but I’m going to go ahead and just put my first big tip out there for the one person on the planet who may not have heard about this yet:

1. THOU SHALT PUT THY KIDS TO BED EARLY. Seriously. This is like the pinnacle of scripture in my book of sleep training. (Actually I have done sleep training as an adult – no lie – and that is key to setting an internal clock.) Routine, early bed times (even for adults), sets a pattern for long and deep sleep.
2. Don’t let them nap after age three. I know I lost some of you there and that’s ok. Because let’s be honest…who’s going to wake a sleeping child? No one in their right mind really, now are they? I’m just telling you that for me and my house this rule was one to live by (more for my son than my daughter). My children seem to re-charge double from a nap and instead of it working for us, it just works against us. They will be up until 10pm and it just sets a bad pattern for the next day.
3. Don’t discipline with bedtimes. I have been guilty myself before of saying, “You are going to bed ten minutes early for that!” Then I realized that I was teaching my kids that bed time can be a form of punishment when in reality – at least in my world – it should be viewed as a REWARD. Big smile.
4. Always send your kids to bed on a positive note. I learned this one through much trial and error. The truth is that by their bedtime a lot of days, I am out of energy myself. But now I tell myself to push and finish well. I try to tell my kids after prayers every night that I know God is going to do something great with their life and I can’t wait to see what it is. You should see the way their eyes get big with wonder and excitement sometimes. It’s precious! I hope that as they fall asleep they’re dreaming of what that is going to be.

So what are your tips for having a household that sleeps well?