I am a writer. That was probably your first clue that I’m an introvert. Introverts tend to prefer putting their thoughts on paper, or at least thinking out what to say before it just comes out. We also like solitude, quiet concentration, no drama, reflection, and self-awareness. This introversion may have stemmed from being an only child or I was just genetically born this way. Whatever the cause, my young childhood personality could be summed up in these three words: calm, quiet, and easy. I don’t know if my parents would pick those same three words, but compared to most other kids I knew, that’s what I was.
Opposites tend to attract, so I guess it should not be a surprise that I married a class clown. <Literally voted class clown in his senior yearbook.>
When it was just the two of us, we balanced each other out. I was the calm to his crazy and he was the crazy to my calm. Over the years, he has settled down a bit and I have come out of my shell more, so now we’ve met each other in the middle. We make a great combo when we are together.
Cue the three kids.
Considering my only experience with kids growing up in my house was myself, I just assumed my children would come out the same as me. They would be little Jamie replicas no matter how many we had. I also had no experience with sibling rivalry (other than occasionally witnessing friends and cousins fight with their siblings). Naturally, I also assumed I could easily teach my kids how to get along. Aren’t we all parenting experts before having children of our own?
To my surprise, apparently extroversion is the dominant trait because my house is now loud, too touchy-feely, littered with constant playdate requests, nonstop talking, and relentless debates. Sometimes it takes me four hours to write a single email. Where is the kid sitting quietly in their room playing with Barbies or Transformers? Nowhere to be found, probably because they are standing directly next to me or in my shadow. Don’t get me wrong; my kids are VASTLY different from each other, and I think one of them actually may be my introvert buddy, but it’s too early to truly tell.
My little only-child brain craves quiet alone time and moments of not being touched or asked to help with yet another thing. My preference is to have this quiet quality time many times a day. All day would be a dream. Reality is quite the opposite. Unfortunately, the frustration of not getting this enough comes out when my limits get reached. Sometimes it causes me to yell. Sometimes it causes me to hide. Most times, I just take a deep breath, sigh it out, and respond to the request or conversation.
Different personality traits make the world go round. While this household is much different than the one I grew up in, I’m glad our house has a mixture, as exhausting as it may be. I look forward to seeing how my kids’ minds bend and grow into what they will one day become – both with personality and profession. And I think the mixture within our household just makes it that much more interesting to be a part of.
To you, other introverted mamas who live amongst chaos: it’s okay to hide and crave that solitude. It’s also okay to join in the chaos and be crazy with them once in a while. Maybe the change will startle your family so much that they all go quiet and stare at you – then you can enjoy those five seconds of silence before your family gets loud again.
Peace be with you.
