Be My BFF: On Making Mom Friends

If you like hot enchiladas and driving in the fast lane,

If you’re not into okra, if you have half a brain,

If you like reading books at midnight when it’s your turn for a break,

Then I’m the BFF that you’ve looked for,  let’s bond over cheesecake.

I’m just kidding.  I actually like okra, but it doesn’t compare to cheesecake. Now, who wants to be my friend?

I thought this would be as good as opportunity as any to share one of motherhood’s greatest struggles – making friends.  I’m sure y’all have seen the hilarious videos and posts circulating that likens making mom friends to dating, and I totally get it.

Because my husband was my first serious relationship, I am more than paying for the good fortune I had the first time around.  Making mom friends is hard.  Just the other day I was standing in line at Duck, Duck, Goose listening to a conversation between two mom friends with their newborns in tow, and I wondered just how creepy I would appear if I went old school and slipped them a piece of paper that says “Will you be my friend?” with a yes and no check box.

When I became a mom for the first time seventeen months ago, I desperately wanted to connect with other moms, to relate to someone else who had also been peed on, pooped on and spit up on.  I wanted someone to say, “Welcome to the motherhood sorority, you’ve officially been initiated, now we’re sisters forever.”  I can’t even begin to tell you what an exciting day it was for me the first time my coworker could relate to my poop in the tub scenario.  It’s the little things, folks.

And then there’s the matter of my child.  I could make Diane Keaton’s character in Because I Said So proud, all but taking out a personal ad to find my child her lifelong BFF instead of her future husband.  (But don’t underestimate me since I’ve already been sizing up future candidates for that as well.)  I would love nothing more for her to meet her future college roommate or maid of honor someday while we are out on an adventure, and they can share stories of how they had tea parties with their stuffed animals together, had sleepovers at least once a month, mended each others’ heartbreaks, and eventually had kids of their own within months of each other.  Surely I’m not the only one that thinks of such things?  But if that comes off as creepy, just pretend I didn’t say that.

While Google was primarily my best friend through my pregnancy and my daughter’s infanthood, now that I have a chatty on-the-go toddler, I have found myself looking for resources to make new mom friends for playdates as well as moms’ night out.  Knoxville Moms Blog has been such a terrific resource for helping me find things to do and places to go with my child, but it’s always nice to be given the opportunity to connect with other moms, beyond just being a contributor.  With the debut of the new KMB Mom Groups Guide, I am confident that mothers will be able to find some friends for themselves and their children.

As someone who has also moved to a completely new place without knowing anyone, I know a few other resources I would love to share with you if you are ever looking for a little support:

1) Meetup.com – There are all sorts of groups on here aside from mom groups, and some of the mom groups are already listed on KMB’s Mom Groups Guide.  This is a great site for people moving to a new place to meet some friends with similar interests, such as pets, volunteering, book clubs, etc.

2) Smilemom – This is a great app that I discovered that allows you to connect with moms across the US, but it also lets you find local moms that have similar aged kids, similar job scenarios (i.e., working moms, etc.), and you can post about meetups or even chat with our moms straight from the app.

3) Activities – There are so many wonderful activities for kids in Knoxville that give you the opportunity to meet other kids and their parents, such as enrolling your child in a gymnastics class or swim lessons.  The Little Gym offers a free trial class for parents to try out one of their classes.  I took my daughter to one, and now I can’t wait to enroll her so we can make friends with other families that take the same class.

4) Facebook Groups – Just do a quick search in your Facebook search bar for Knoxville moms, and you are sure to find a few that will gladly welcome you.

5) Just get out of the house.  Period.  Even if you don’t know a soul, you are better off on an empty playground with the opportunity of someone coming along then just sitting in your house  going stir crazy.  Go to a local park, museum, or library.  Even if you don’t meet a forever friend, your child will appreciate the outing (and you probably will too)!

How and where did you meet your mom friends?  Do you have advice for others on making mom friends?