If you clicked on this link in hopes to rush to the comment section to rip me to shreds, just hear me out. We can still disagree by the end, but hopefully you take a second to think about what I am saying.
Once upon a time, there was a young girl who started her period and quickly morphed from a childish body to a fully developed woman. From a kids’ size 12 to a women’s 8/10, seemingly overnight. She had stretch marks on her hips from the quick changes her body experienced. She was an athlete, but never quite had a super fit physique. She carried her weight in her stomach and hips, and filled out a sweater without any issues. She quickly realized she had to hide her body. She wore “comfort camis” under every top she wore to cover every inch of her skin. God forbid anyone see the skin on her lower back or the scandalous belly area.
She grew up in the ’90s and early 2000s, where all the models in magazines and on tv were stick thin with no boobs. She was quite the opposite body shape and because of this, she spent her teens, twenties and half of her 30s lacking self-love and self-confidence.
She is now in her late 30s with three kids, all of whom once called her body home. She often would laugh at her younger self thinking how silly it was that she was so insecure with her body when she was so young and 20 pounds lighter.
That girl was me.
I now have two daughters, nine and six, both of whom love crop tops and sport bra tops. A friend told me a story not too long ago about how her daughter wanted to wear a sports bra as a top and she told her no. She then told me how her daughter responded, “Well, Piper’s mom lets her!”
And you know what, I sure do let her. After spending the last 23 years covering every inch of my stomach, I’m done. Over the last few years, I’ve put my body through pain and deprived it of calories to try to obtain what I thought society says I need to look like. I wear sports bras as tops with leggings when I work out. I wear crop tops out in public. I finally can wear the bikini and still play with my kids. Is it because I want to look sexy? Nah, dog. I want to be comfortable and love myself.
So, is this a story of a 36-year-old in a crop top or a six-year-old? Both, I suppose.
My six-year-old sees her mom confidently wearing what makes her feel good, what makes her feel comfortable. Sometimes that is oversized sweatpants and a hoodie, too.
I can assure you that my six-year-old has no understanding of what sexy is, what it means to be or feel sexy or why she would want to look sexy. I can also assure you that if you see a six-year-old in a crop top/sports bra and your first reaction is “sexy,” you my friend, are the problem, not her.
My six-year-old is running around in a sports bra and leggings being young, wild and free. She has not one care in the world, and is definitely not worried if you feel like she is dressed provocatively. If I can do one thing for my girls, it’s to never spend one minute worrying if you approve of her outfit, no matter if she’s six, sixteen or thirty-six.
She does not wear a sports bra as a top or a crop top to church or school. Mainly because she wears a uniform to school and she typically wears dresses to church. I will add that I believe there is a time and place for a crop top/sports bra top, and by putting a limit to when and where, it teaches her to feel confident in other clothing options. But, if you see her running the aisles of Wal-Mart in a sports bra and leggings or fielding ground balls on the ball field, just know she’s living her best life.
My girls are going to have plenty of things to worry about as they grow. I want them to waste none of their time worrying if they have covered enough of their body to make you feel comfortable.
I want them to feel strong and fearless, whether they are wearing an oversized hoodie or their belly button is playing peekaboo from under their crop top.
So, am I wrong? Letting my girls figure out the world and how they feel comfortable? Teaching my girls that your approval doesn’t determine their worth? Showing my girls that you may not have a six pack of abs but you can still rock the heck out of a crop top? Or am I wrong running in a sports bra and leggings showing my girls what strength looks like?
Or am I wrong because I should be teaching them that their body will be viewed as a sexual item that society will judge and criticize at every age? That they should be ashamed of a stretch mark or a fat roll? That they should keep every inch of their abdomen covered for the sake of someone else’s comfort?
I absolutely love this article! As a mother of three children, two in college and one that is eight, our oldest daughter grew up in Florida and in one of the greatest school systems where everyone rode their bikes and walked to school-the children wore Soffe shorts and crop tops and basically the least amount of clothes possible and no one thought anything of it. Clothing that the kids picked out to wear on the daily kept them comfortable when it was hot and it was already Hot, was Far from being “sexy”. Fast forward to us moving back to Tennessee and everything was regulated at schools and that is when the questions started from our oldest daughter about why showing skin was a bad thing. Now, we are older parents and our eight-year-old daughter squishes my tummy and talks about it being funny like a squishy balloon and instead of worrying about it I tell her I gave her and her siblings a healthy home in that tummy and she loves it! I don’t even care anymore, our bodies our skin, we shouldn’t be ashamed.. Children should grow up loving their bodies and I guess it starts with us because Lord knows that they love us, squishy balloon bellies and all, and the minute they see us criticizing our own bodies they’re going to start looking at theirs.. they have enough judgment and disapproval for randomness like a crop top! So I say let them wear it when they can! (Side note, in Florida the clothing choices never affected their studies or honors courses and grade point average lol)