44 Things I Know at 43



At 43, I think I am the oldest KMB contributor. With age comes (mostly) wisdom. So here are 44 nuggets of gold that I know without a doubt are all TRUE. Some you will have heard before, some have been shared with me by loved ones, and some I just know because I have lived. Oh, and it’s not about you.


  1. It’s not about you.

  2. Prayer works, you just might not like the answer. Do it any way.

  3. We can let a trial break us or grow us. Turn your trials into triumphs.

  4. Being cool is for teens and movie stars. Being a dork is way easier to achieve for the long haul.

  5. Diets do not work; eat healthfully, enjoy occasional treats, and move more.

  6. Don’t worry what people think about you. You can’t control others’ thoughts and they are probably only worrying about themselves anyway.

  7. Just a man cannot complete you, only God can do that.

  8. Learn to save money, the earlier the better. Then teach your kids.

  9. Worrying will not change anything, except young hairs to grays.

  10. Speak your fears out loud; they instantly lose their power. (Thanks, Kellee!)

  11. Time doesn’t really heal all wounds, we just learn to live with the pain.

  12. You can’t win an argument with a narcissist, so have a glass of wine instead.

  13. Play with your kids when they ask you to, and even when they don’t. They will remember that, not how clean the house was.

  14. Be on time. Being late will make you and everyone around you crazy.

  15. Don’t hold grudges or regrets; instead, forgive yourself and others.

  16. Be truthful always. Lies only hurt you in the long run, and they are much harder to remember.

  17. Wear the bathing suit, swim with your kids. They will not remember your stretch marks or love handles. They will remember you teaching them to do a handstand under water, and playing Marco-Polo with them.

  18. Do something for yourself almost every day, and then on the days when you can’t, you won’t notice.

  19. Make wise choices while also taking chances sometimes. The magic is all in the balance.

  20. Date your husband.

  21. Be nice to everyone.

  22. Be especially nice to those serving you (i.e., waiters, nurses, customer service); they hold the power.

  23. Don’t trust anyone who is not nice to those serving you.

  24. We are all terminal, some sooner than others. Love BIG.

  25. Learn your family history, there will be a time in your life when you will be interested in it, but no one left to ask.

  26. Create boundaries, for you and for your children.

  27. Respect, trust, and money are things we earn. Appreciate and do not squander them, because once they are gone, they are gone.

  28. God will not put more on you then He can carry you through.

  29. Dance and sing like no one is watching or listening. It is good for your soul, and your kids will love it and always remember it.

  30. Have a friend or two to confide in, but don’t tell everything to everyone. Keep confidences. Always. No matter what.

  31. Growing old is a gift not everyone gets. Embrace your signs of aging. But it is OK to grow old gracefully and to color your grays and use wrinkle cream!

  32. Don’t gossip, and stay away from those that do. If they will talk about others, they will talk about you.

  33. Be thankful. Someone else has less than you.

  34. Don’t compare yourself to others; just be your best self you can be.

  35. Give back whenever you can. Never stop giving.

  36. You can have too many shoes and purses, but you can’t have too many books.

  37. Do what makes others happy, especially those you love. You will be the happiest in the end.

  38. Friendship should not be hard; if a person drains you then they are probably not your friend.

  39. There is only one thing harder than burying your husband, and that is burying your children.

  40. Do things that get you out of your comfort level, because this is where the growth can happen.

  41. Plan your work, work your plan. (Thanks Greg!)

  42. Show grace to everyone, especially your husband and kids; this is the only way your kids will learn to show grace to others.

  43. Drinking a hot cup of coffee with lots of cream and sugar while putting your feet up will just about cure menstrual cramps. (Thanks Mom!)

  44. It’s not about you.


  1. Thank you for sharing. I think it’s great when experienced moms take the time to pass on their knowledge!

  2. I am a lot older than you Crystal but even I need to be reminded of what is important in life and of the things we foolishly think are important. Thank you.

  3. Saw this via a share from NOLA Moms and loved it! Thanks for taking the time to write and give us some perspective, which I was really needing today (from a fellow 43 year-old with a little one) ;).

  4. Love these, Crystal! They are mini sermons that provide a time for reflection on times passed and times to come. I read all 44 twice so I could really get the message of each.

  5. Oh Mary Sue, you don’t know how much this means to me!!!! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. (Ladies, this is one of my all time favorite high school teachers!?)


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