I remember it like it was yesterday. I can recall the public place we were at when my son threw an Armageddon tantrum. He was trying to figure me out. Will she bend? Will she break? This scenario had played out before but never at this magnitude.
It began in The Dollar General Market, a store that I was trying out because I had a coupon. My three-year-old son wanted an item at check-out. I believe it was a matchbox car. Maybe it was a hand sanitizer. All I can remember is that I calmly said, “no.” I think that there is a conspiracy among grocers to place appealing trinkets, gadgets, and toys near the candy and soda coolers at check-out. At this point, most mothers are probably over it, as in they have dragged their toddler up and down aisles while staring at a scribbled down grocery list, all while shoving goldfish crackers in the toddler’s mouth. After attempting to remain calm in the store while talking him down from his fit, he proceeded to throw himself onto the store floor. After counting and nervously smiling at the cashier, I realized that the only way this kid was getting out of the store was if I physically lifted him off the ground. Once outside, I put him back on the concrete, attempting yet again to talk him down, but it wasn’t working. As I walked away in hopes that he would follow me, he did, all the while crying and screaming and thrashing around like a fish out of water. He then laid down in the parking lot, kicking and screaming. At this point, I wanted to do the same. The tantrum lasted all the way home.
The reason that we were at the grocery store was because I was purchasing food for his birthday party, which I was hosting at our home the following day. By the time we pulled up into our driveway I had declared that I was cancelling the party (I didn’t), and after placing him in his room to separate us, I called my mom in tears because I just couldn’t deal and needed to vent.
Every child has their moment, compliant or not, BUT this is an example of a kid who was just born with a strong will. Apparently, my husband and I only create them one way because all three of our children have that streak in them, one more than the others.
Strong-willed children are headstrong and difficult to deal with. Remember those “trick” candles on a birthday cake that just refuse to be blown out? Strong-willed children refuse to be blown out. They can be stubborn and persistent. First-time obedience is rare with them. They like to test and try a parent at every turn.
There were times where I was just in despair over my son. He was a smart little dude, but his temperament and strong will always placed us on a battlefield, and I was weary. This same kid is eight-years-old now, and I am happy to report that he has made great strides in managing his emotions, reacting slower, and obeying the first time. He is a work in progress, but aren’t we all?
I have learned that being strong-willed is actually a good thing in the long-run. It will serve my son well if it is channeled positively. In the meantime I am going to be consistent, give him choices, and stick with routines and schedules because these avenues can set him up for success instead of failure. I might bend, but I won’t break.
Do you have a strong-willed child? What have you learned parenting him/her? Share with us in the comments!
