The holidays are a wonderful time filled with excitement and tradition shared with loved ones, but why do they cause us so much stress sometimes? Trying to give your family Christmas magic is a beautiful thing, but when does it become overwhelming? As a mom of six, life throws its challenges at me from time to time, and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned some helpful ways to cope in the moment.
When something doesn’t go according to plan, or if those plans have to be canceled last-minute due to sickness or some other random unplanned explosion of life, reframing our thinking can help take the edge off of the initial stress reaction.
This is only a start, but when chaos hits, the first thing I do is start at the top by doing some positive self-talk. Some things I might think are: Will this be the end of the world? It’s been worse before and you made it through. Maybe it’s good we had to miss this event and slow down as a family. Another good thing to ask yourself is: If I woke up tomorrow and this one event/plan/activity is all we had, would I be satisfied? Would this one thing that I’m so upset over be worth giving up everything else? Because if you think about it, when we allow ourselves to get so frustrated that we let it take our mind away from the other responsibilities and blessings we have, we can’t attend to those things as well as we should. In that sense, we really are sacrificing everything else for the sake of this one thing that we wish would have gone the way we wanted. These self-talks aren’t to say that life can’t be a pill and that real stress won’t be felt, but give yourself the space to know that it’s going to be okay. Life will work itself out and beautiful moments you might have missed may come from this break in plans.
I am a planner and I love when my plans come to fruition and days run smoothly, but if I’m honest, that rarely happens. Maybe it’s the six kids causing me to learn how to be more flexible in life or maybe we all have to experience that from time to time. Once you’ve had a good cry or whatever it is you do to get over a stressful string of events, try to make a good moment in the middle of it all. As time rolls on, those good moments in the middle of some not so good times end up being the things we remember when we look back on that difficult time. Those once-stressful moments return in the future as a good laugh or a thought of thankfulness that we aren’t in that place now.
During the holidays, try to let the chaos roll right off by maybe saying no to some things or maybe no for now, but maybe a yes next year. I promise it won’t be the end of the world.
When life gets to be too much, laugh in the tough moments or cry and then laugh. Life won’t always be this moment and your loved ones will be there to see you through it. If I’m honest, I’m here to say this to myself first and then anyone else who might have the same experience. Life’s hills and valleys are all part of the process, and I hope happiness and grace carry you through and meet you on the other side. Find your support group and share your challenges, and the solutions you found to get you through. You never know who else is going through the exact same thing and needs your testimony to get them through.
Bless you all in this holiday season. Let the words you think in your head about yourself be filled with grace and determination to see it through another hard time. You are a great mom because you care and you do your best for your family every day. You are loved and you have your own unique beautiful life.
