I didn’t know anything about children before the arrival of my first child, but I did know exactly what I was and wasn’t going to do with my baby. I’d have him on a schedule. Naps would be like clockwork. I’d cloth diaper him so none of those questionable chemicals in disposables would ever have to touch that perfect little tush. I’d make all my own baby food so I would know exactly what went into it. I wasn’t going to screw this up. I was going to do it as perfectly as I could.
Then he arrived.
The cloth diapers constantly leaked and it turns out my child is a party animal that fights sleep like it’s the devil. Thankfully he did love my homemade baby food, but I also found him eating a dead spider around the 9 month mark. Somehow, I think that negated all that wholesome baby food I spent so much time preparing. Stubbornly I stuck with the cloth diapers until he was 18 months old. (We moved into a temporary rental that was not set up for a diaper sprayer…I just could never bring myself to do the dunk and flush method.) I went disposable and never looked back!
Child number two arrived and I’m much more go with the flow. Naps? He gets them when he can. Homemade baby food? I did try initially but when he started eating a full ice cube tray in one sitting I had no regrets switching him to pre-made. While I do think there are some ideals worth fighting for, I’ve learned there is no one perfect way to raise a child. Instead of doing what “they” say to do, it’s best to do what works for you and your child.
I remember as a first time mama giving other moms the side eye because they weren’t doing things my way. These days I’m much more understanding. I’ve realized you never know the situation. You never know the whys. In fact, I’ve been on the receiving end of those side eyes a time or two, but you know what, that’s okay, because I know there is more than one perfect way to raise a child.
It’s amazing how the visions of how you thought parenting would go before you had kids. By the time you to the second, you do it by feel and your instincts. I always try to suggest that to first time moms, put the books down and trust your instincts. Because they are usually right!
Yes! Throw those book right out the window. They only confuse your natural instincts in my opinion.
Love this, Laura! As much as I’d like to think there are a million things NOT to do as a parent, there are just as many things TO DO as a parent. And for the most part, kids turn out just fine. Thanks for the reminder not to be the one making eyes at other moms! We’ve all been there!
Yep, I’d say it’s a safe bet to say we have all been on the giving and receiving end of side eyes before.
This is so true! I had many plans and expectations worked out in my head before the arrival of my first. Then Fallon arrived and she rocked all my ideas of mothering! I am so thankful for the change too. Thanks for your blog!
Every child is so different and unfortunately none come with their own book. It is so nice to let go of the “should and should not” list and just do what works!
I’m not gonna lie — I definitely used to look at moms and think “my child will never…” And I usually end up doing those things. Love this post!