Fellow mothers of teenagers, I join you in the quest to forge more time with our young people. I hope that together we can unlock the secrets of nudging our moody, phone-obsessed, self-isolating teens to spend quality time with dear old mom.
The following time-tested tactics are guaranteed to prompt your teens to jump at the chance to hang out with you. Get ready for the bonding!
Be extra cool. To win the heart of your teenage offspring, you must achieve peak coolness. Dress in the most current and trendiest styles, and appropriately use slang from their generation. Insert as many hip references as possible into your conversations. Nothing screams “quality time with mom” quite so loudly as cringe-worthy attempts to fit in.
Totally compete for their attention. Seriously, teens love it when you engage in a fierce battle for their undivided attention. Ignore their eye rolls and exasperated sighs as you remind them why you’re more fun than their friends. Maybe you can challenge them to a dance-off? Try an extreme sport? Be sure to capture it all on video so that you can share these ventures with their social circle.
Employ guilt tripping galore. Use the time-honored techniques of emotional manipulation to coerce your teen into being with you. Remind him or her of all the sleepless nights you spent changing diapers or all the hours spent as a chauffeur to sports and clubs. Recount the endless sacrifices made for their happiness. Squeeze out a tear or two, but don’t go overboard or they might just start avoiding you altogether.
Bust out the bribery bonanza. This is my personal go-to strategy. Why rely on family love when you can purchase your teen’s affection? Promise outrageous rewards, shower her with beauty perks like a mani-pedi date, or splurge on a steak dinner for your guy. Watch as they suddenly find time to hang out with you when you include the fleeting pleasures they beg for.
Go for the surprise ambush. Nothing screams “I love you, Mom” like a surprise intrusion of your teen’s sacred alone time. Burst into their room unannounced, armed with board games, photo albums or baby videos. Right when they think the day is theirs for doing nothing, inform them of the hike you have planned. They will be mortified, but deep down they will love you for always being there.
Declare delightful chores. Transform mundane household tasks into unforgettable bonding when you do it together. Insist that your teen complete the chores by a certain time…and then jump in to offer assistance. Who needs to spend cozy time at the coffee shop when you can scrub toilets together? This will certainly insure that your adolescent child begs for more of the surprise ambush. Plus, it will build character, right?
Instate a tech time-out. Teach our young people the art of face-to-face conversation. Be prepared for a wave of complaints and sulking fits and hope they aren’t bashing you across social media platforms. Aim for a short trip out for ice cream or Sonic sans tech.
We love our teens, but sometimes we struggle to find ways of connecting. Keep trying — it’s worth it. When we keep showing up and let them know we care, we demonstrate that we are trustworthy and dependable. Let your teen know you don’t always know how to be in their world, but you’re trying — and then keep engaging them every single day.
