I am in the mode to go all the time. I’m a mom, after all. I’m always doing stuff. Important stuff. I keep everyone clothed, fed, happy {relatively}. I think of my children, my husband, my house, my nutrition work, my support group work, exercising, feeding my family well, making appointments, therapies for the kids, play dates, date nights, and on and on the list goes. I am assuming this is how it is for all moms. It’s just part of it.
This week I am stepping away from my regular life to take a vacation with my family. A much needed one. For some reason this vacation seems especially important. Maybe it’s because life is so much crazier now. Maybe it’s because my husband has been working extra hard. Maybe it’s because I stretch myself too thin too much. I’m not sure why it seems like this trip is NEEDED, not just wanted, but it definitely does.
We usually go on a big vacation once a year. I always look forward to it, and I always enjoy it. I also always set unrealistic expectations for myself during vacation. I take tons of books. Y’all, I have little children and am not an avid reader. For some reason I always think vacation is the time I will suddenly become a book worm. I don’t. I take my computer expecting to write a week of blog posts as well as get a bunch of posts written to get ahead for when I get back. I don’t do it. I bring calendars to fill out and figure out. I don’t do either. And I leave my week of vacation frustrated with myself for not getting anything done, for thinking I would do all of that, and irritated that I brought so much with me that I didn’t need.
I’m a constant over-stuffer of my schedule and time, and it’s not good.
This year, I have decided to take a different approach. I’m realizing and appreciating my limits. I won’t get any work done on the long car ride because
we have 3 kids 4 and under, and
I get carsick at the mere thought of reading or writing
I’m not going to write any blog posts {except this lovely one}. I’m on vacation. I’m not going to plan any schedules or re-think my budget or read all of the books about parenting that I’ve been meaning to read for the last year {or two or three}. I’m not going to spend hours on my support group, even though that’s my favorite work to do. I’m not going to do any nutrition work this week. I’m going to be on vacation.
I’m going to be present, and active, and attentive, and relaxed. I’m not going to cram my schedule with goals and expectations. I’m not going to achieve things. I’m going to relax. I’m going to make my only job this week doting on my little ones. Giving them more attention than they usually get, and creating amazing memories with them that we can store up in our memory bank. I’m going to live in the moment and not the computer. I’m going be living and not planning.
And as glorious as all of this sounds, it’s really hard for me to just let go and do all of that. I’m so used to going, going, going and being busy that it’s all I know. But I don’t want that to be the case. I want to be a better mom, a better wife, a better friend. I NEED to recharge. I need to be with my people and just love them well so that I can march on strong once we return to normal life. I’m learning to take a break, take a step back so that I can recharge to be the best mama I can be.
This week on vacation my bag is feeling lighter and so is my heart. I’m thankful for the chance to get to be with my favorite people here and take some deep breaths while I recharge to be a better mama for my family.
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