If you’re like me and have a daughter anywhere between the ages of 9 and 12, you’ve got what is known as a preteen. And if like me, you have a daughter who is obsessed with any of the stores in the title of this post, then you know both the struggle and the reality of keeping it real while throwing your tween little bones every now and then. For those of you who have either not had the pleasure of hitting this stage yet with your daughter, have boys, or just have daughters who could care less about what is “in,” let me introduce you to the brands and stores that have tweens and preteens everywhere dropping (not their own) cash in order to own the latest trends in both makeup/skincare, clothing, and jewelry.
Sephora is a store that boasts nearly 340 brands of personal care and beauty products such as cosmetics, skincare, fragrance, and beauty tools to name a few. I have long been a fan of Sephora…it’s like CandyLand for grown ups or at least it was until TikTok garnered an entire new fanbase between the ages of 9 and 14. I can now thank the social media platform for my preteen owning more body sprays and lip balms than I ever have in my lifetime!
Then there is Lulu, short for Lululemon. At this athletic apparel shop, preteens and teens can feed their obsession with all things leggings, belt bags, and scuba hoodies for an average price of $100 per pair of leggings. I do not know what Lulu is putting in their clothes and accessories, but no matter where I look when I see a group of girls around my daughter’s age, they have all have something on them with the familiar red and white logo that has become commonplace in my household.
Then there’s Kendra, which is Kendra Scott. Kendra Scott is a jewelry boutique that has risen to popularity with the tween and preteen age group (never mind the fact that I wore her jewelry first!) with pieces such as her Elisa pendant necklaces and matching earrings. Some other notable trends are Uggs and Stanley cups, but I would need another post to go into detail about the Stanley alone!
So why are these brands as popular as they are with a much younger crowd?
There was once a time where we all were those ages too. I also wanted to have the cool, popular clothes and shoes in order to look like I fit in. I can vividly remember asking for a pair of EGs, which were the cool slouchy socks everyone had and being told absolutely not as they were $12 for one pair. Which compared to the price of one Lulu pair of leggings in the year 2024, is nothing! But at the time, it was a lot for one pair of socks (yes I realize I am dating myself) But I did finally get a pair and I was the happiest preteen that ever existed…until the next fad came about and I just had to have whatever that was too. It’s a never-ending cycle that I am now experiencing as a parent. Just when you think you’ve won Mom of the Year for buying them the latest “it” item, something else comes along that they just absolutely have to have. But here’s the thing: I am part of the problem. I admit it!
So where do you draw the line? How do you walk the fine line between raising entitled children versus grateful children? How do you teach them — at such young ages — that it’s not things that matter the most?
Right now, my daughter believes that in order for her to be viewed as important and cool by her peers, she has to own the clothing or the makeup, etc from the stores mentioned above. Where is she getting her intel from? Well, the same way we did, which is peer influence. But there’s also another avenue that advertises to preteens that we did not have: social media. Her entire list for the holidays basically came from TikToks. Again, I am guilty of this too! If an influencer I follow on Instagram says I just have to have this particular pot to cook with or under the sink organizer to make my life easier, then you can bet I am at the very least going to click on that link and check it out. So I can’t say I blame my daughter for seeing things she wants and then thinking she has to have them. The difference is that I am a lot older and have experienced way more than she has. I know the value of a dollar (my husband would argue otherwise) and I am also knowledgeable about some of the ingredients in some of the products she thinks she has to have. But when it’s me telling her she shouldn’t be putting anything with salicylic acid on her face at her age, there’s no convincing her. She thinks it’s just mom being mean until the employee at Sephora tells her the same thing.
There’s also another reason why I tread very lightly between just giving into her every wish and whim. And that is to teach her that in this life, not everything is going to be handed to us just because we want it. It’s so difficult because I want to give my children whatever it is they want to make them happy! And I don’t know who this person is sometimes because I always said I wouldn’t do so in fear of raising ungrateful, entitled children. Every time I “give in” and purchase a high ticket item she wants, not something she needs, I worry that I am going about it all the wrong way. But then again, most of being a parent is worrying you are not doing something right.
This is just one of the many lessons I am learning as a parent, especially the parent to a preteen girl. There are many ways I am teaching her how to be grateful and thankful, despite her getting some brand new Lulu leggings (which have a lifetime guarantee I recently found out, so that’s a plus in my book) while I’m still wearing the same leggings I have had for 10 years. I know I am doing something right when I hear from one of her teachers how polite she is or how wonderful of a student she is. I know it when I hear parents tell me they love to be around her and that she is so warm and kind to younger siblings of her friends.
