How To Sell A House With Kids: As Told By One Tired Mom

You’ll need to do laundry right away because you can’t leave any of those lovely piles of clean laundry laying around unfolded while they air out. That can’t be seen when potential buyers come to look at your house because no one wants to buy a house that clearly doesn’t have a magic laundry room that does its own laundry. So you must keep up. But it’s hard to keep up when you aren’t home due to the showings. So you’ll get to use your creativity.

Don’t worry mom, this is your moment to shine! Whip out whatever you have in you — that college degree, those supreme creative skills, whatever your gift — use it. Use it to cleverly eliminate the dirty laundry from your home. Should you choose to bag it up in a garbage bag and throw it in the trunk of your mom-mobile know you are in good company and you are a hero.

Next comes the fun task of bathrooms. Now don’t be fooled. I know what you’re thinking — how could that be fun? But silly you. You just don’t know. See, it’s great fun to have little ones who enjoy the work of brushing their teeth. Who find joy in squeezing all of the toothpaste out of the tube and then enhancing their artistic skills by smearing it all over the sink, counter, cabinets, and somehow toilet. It’s abstract art, and it’s just beautiful. So you get the fun of encouraging their art and not killing their dreams while helping potential buyers to see the beauty in your young children’s art. It’s a gift you’ve been given really.

And speaking of bathrooms, let’s talk about the toilet. Remember how hard you worked to potty train those kiddos? Well now they’re really showing their appreciation. They love to go to the bathroom. They love to go in every toilet in the house right as you’re trying to get out the door. It’s so sweet how they’ve really got this potty training business down. They love to go and not tell you. It’s great. They’re so independent — those cuties. And when you think you love them the most ever, just wait until you find their little surprises in the toilets after you’ve had a showing at your house. It’s just joyful.

Speaking of their wonderful potty training skills, let’s talk about their comfort level to relieve those sweet little bladders wherever they are when nature calls. For instance in the front yard as a potential buyer is pulling up to look at the home. Oh what better of a way to convey the image of a beautiful, clean home than to welcome someone with a sprinkle of tinkle as they arrive. Thoughtful children.

And on the subject of thoughtful, let’s talk about their sweet gifts they leave laying around. They’re such thoughtful little people, really. They like to leave gifts, and being the thoughtful people they are, they hide them so the rest of us can have a fun scavenger hunt. It’s so fun to look for hidden treasures and find surprises when you least expect them. Dirty socks are a favorite — I think it’s because they know how much I love to do laundry. Sweet little dears.

Speaking of dears, that reminds me of their stuffed animal deer, along with the one thousand other species of stuffed animal they own. They just love to leave them around. It’s like it’s their sweet little way of helping me decorate the house. They are so worried about hurting my feelings if they just said I had poor decorating taste, that they take such great measures to spare my feelings. They just love to help, the little dears. They know that all buyers and realtors will love to see an assortment of stuffed creatures as they walk in the door. It’s so fun to see those things along the walking paths of the house. Lovely little interior decorators I have.

They’re just precious little children wanting to help their struggling mama out. What would I do without them? How would I get this house sold? At the end of the day I just have to thank them for their help and look forward to it again tomorrow.

Lauren is a stay at home mom who is in the process of selling her home with three little ones, ages 5, 3, and 1. She just loves the challenge and also has quite the sarcastic tongue.