Outnumbered and Overwhelmed

How many kids do you have?  I have 3 – I’m completely outnumbered, in fact, even when I’m with my husband, we are still outnumbered. And honestly, sometimes this completely overwhelms me.

When we decided to have a second child, we had planned on a family of four. When out and about, The Professor and I figured we could each watch over a child; I had visions of us riding in pairs at Dollywood and Disney World. But all that changed when I found out I was having twins. We’re an odd number, someone will be riding alone! We’ve moved past man-on-man to zone defense.

And being outnumbered, I honestly feel overwhelmed. Overwhelmed trying to make sure they don’t fall off playground equipment, overwhelmed making sure that I can see all of them at the same time, and overwhelmed that I can’t give everyone on my undivided attention.

And all that can be overwhelming in itself. Overwhelming enough that I tend to shy away from activities. When she was little, I took my eldest to playdates at places like Tataru’s, playgrounds, and swimming pools; now I’m too nervous to take two, and definitely not three. The most adventurous we get is the mall play area.

I’ve decided to challenge myself with my children in the new year. Here are some ways I’ve been trying to do that.

1. Make friends with other outnumbered moms. These women are your people. They get how your attention is divided amongst all your children. And they get that you might bolt mid-sentence if someone is just out of sight.

2. Start out small. Instead of picking the largest playground in Knoxville, try looking for a small fenced-in playground, such as the playgrounds at Safety City or a local church.

3. Ask for help. Going someplace that makes you a little nervous to take your littles? Ask a family member or friend for help. And no, that doesn’t mean you can’t handle your kids.

4. Create limits. While it may be hard (and sometimes impossible) to reason with a 2 or 3 year old, it’s good for them to know and obey the rules. It’ll give you peace of mind and aid in your child’s development.

5. Take time for yourself. It’s exhausting being overwhelmed all the time. And you don’t have to “get out” to take a “time out.”  I like painting my nails – it forces me to slow down and take a little time for myself.

While I’m still going to be outnumbered, I’m trying to be less overwhelmed in 2015. Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed with your kids? How do you handle it?