Mothers, Advocates, Activists

You get a lot of warnings and well-intentioned advice when you’re expecting, and quite a range, depending on the range of your circle. Everyone’s experiences will paint the words they share with you. Some will ring true for you, some will not. By the time you’re staring down your due date, you feel as though you’ve heard every single thing motherhood will be. 

No one told me, though, how much of motherhood would be advocacy/activism. I’m not sure I would have believed them if they had. 

I never really framed it that way myself until I had my third child; he threw us for loops right as I was settling into a pretty self-assured mom groove. I had to speak up and speak out for him, a lot. Sometimes my voice was loud and clear, sometimes it shook. It can be exhausting at times, and I’ve had to face one of my biggest fears: being misunderstood. But he is always worth it. Always, always. 

The work I had “put in” for him may have been more overt, but truthfully, years of advocating for his brother and sister before him had prepared me more than I realized. 

You’re doing it for your babies, too. 

You’re sorting things out with schools, making sure there’s a clear line of communication available as you send your most precious cargo off to their care each day.

You’re taking your little one for a second opinion after a diagnosis that didn’t quite sit right. 

You’re using your voice and your vote to shape the world into a place that will hopefully look more like the one you want to leave to them one day. 

You’re rallying.

You’re marching.

You’re having conversations; you’re coming to the table.

You’re sitting in, or sometimes you’re sitting out. 

You’re affecting change; sometimes for your child directly, sometimes indirectly. Either way, it comes back to those little faces and the future we dream of on their behalf. 

You and I may not be almost certainly aren’t out on the battlefield fighting for the same things, and perhaps sometimes even the opposite things. And yet there’s a sense of sisterhood. It may not be flowery or even overly friendly when we cross paths “out there,” but it’s a nod of acknowledgment. The mama bear in me sees the mama bear in you. Our end goal may be wildly different, but ultimately it’s still the same. We press on in relentless hope; the hope that our children will live in a world that allows them safe passage, belonging, and meaning. A world where perhaps they don’t have to pick up a shield quite as often because of those who came before them, stood in the gap, and fought tirelessly for their future. 

We may not think of it that way very often, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t true: motherhood is advocacy. Motherhood is activism. 

See you out there.