Mine’s patience.
Just kidding.
Seriously though, I’ve been wondering for a while now exactly what it is that I have to offer my kids that no one else can. They say each parent is assigned to a child, that they’re the perfect fit for one another, despite the obvious and plentiful doubts that can occur in the day to day raising of miniature people.
Well I’ve been watching for a while now, contemplating my own downfalls and strengths as my kid’s mama. Those who know me know that patience is, in fact, not my strong suit. It’s not even my mediocre suit actually. That’s something I have to work on every single day, worried as I am that I’ll pass off some kind of social ineptitude to my little ones, where they can’t handle challenging situations without needing to stop, hide, and breath behind kitchen walls. Not terribly proud of that one.
I know though, that I’m fairly creative and I’m able to appreciate the beauty in most anything. I see that quality reflected in our oldest son every day, the way he looks at books, games, and the whole world with such unfathomable wonder.
I know I’m empathetic – sometimes to a fault. My heart breaks a thousand times over with each disappointment my kids face, though I work hard not to let them see this factor play out around them. When I let my son ‘cry it out’ for one night, I stayed right on the other side of the door, crying along with him though he’ll never know that. Each time I entered his room to pat him reassuringly I’m sure I seemed composed, perhaps even callous (oh Lord was that hard) to him, while privately I was shattered by his tiny hurts.
But the thing I’m learning already, though granted I’m still at the starting gate of this thing called parenthood, is that I am Mom and therefore a greater need than my own exists and takes priority over all things. My sadness comes second now, as do my frustrations. I may not get to have the same quality of ‘me time’ that I once did, but boy am I never lonely anymore. My own kidulthood moments, the ones where I’d like to close a door just a bit too hard, or hop in the car and drive aimlessly listening to Alanis Morissette a little too loudly (don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about) are well and truly shoved to the end of the line.
And therein lies my superpower.
The ability to love far greater than I ever knew I was capable of. To restructure priorities, hopes and needs that I thought were permanently ingrained in me, all to accommodate a higher purpose and a more massive journey than I could ever have known I was setting foot upon.
My power lies in me being Mom, no more no less, and giving everything I am to this new role that has become my whole life. For better or for worse for my kids (I pray for the better though!) I’m still here, still trying, still praying, and… I always will be.
And that makes me, full of faults and brimming with love, indestructible.
Calling all moms from Knoxville and beyond! The bat signals are out and we want to know what YOUR mom superpower is!? Share below!
