Kids are messy, therefore my house is messy. My car is messy. My purse is messy. Basically my life is messy.
Before getting married I wouldn’t have considered myself a “type A” personality, but during that first year of marriage I very soon realized that I like doing things a certain way, and that way is MY way. Who knew? Marriage tends to bring out the worst in us as well as the best in us. Parenthood seems to be doing that even more.
I sometimes feel like I am a “type A” personality in a C- body. Like I just can’t seem to get it together. I walk through my house all day long picking up this, sweeping that, scrubbing something else, only to look around and see toys and stuff EVERYWHERE. I get it; I have two small children and with that come toys and messes, but I would be lying to you if I told you that it didn’t drive me bonkers.
But here’s the thing.
I noticed something a couple of weeks ago. I was focusing so much on keeping the toys at bay, that it was keeping my kids from playing with them. The more I went behind them and picked up after them all day or even harped on them to keep a tidy play room, the more they started gravitating towards the iPad or tv. The more energy I focused on cleaning up, the less time I was spending with them. At the end of the day, I can’t keep up. There are always going to be more dirty dishes, more dirty clothes, and a literal laundry list of things to do. That doesn’t necessarily give me a free pass to just never clean up, but I do think that there are times where I have to give myself a break. We all need to just give ourselves a break! It is time to throw in the towel and say, “It’s ok the house is messy. Right now my kids need me. Physically need me. They need me to read that book or help put together the 400 piece Star Wars Lego thing they got for Christmas. And that isn’t always going to be the case.”
They won’t always physically rely on me for their well-being and oh Lord, I can’t even think about how much I’m going to miss it.
This season of life is just messy. But it is also just that: a season. Raising these babies was my life’s dream and it is a privilege that I get to live that dream. I want to be able to provide an environment for them that gives them the freedom to be creative and happy. Sometimes that means the house does need to be nice and tidy so they can free their mind and focus on the task at hand and not have tons of clutter all around. Other times, that means that we are going to make a fort in the hall, right in front of the front door with every stuffed animal and pillow we have in sight and it is going to stay that way for a week. It is in the way and a total eye sore and it honestly drives me a little crazy, but it is also sweet and what being a kid is all about.
Needed to read this! I have been going crazy post Christmas trying to keep the animal that the mess my 3 kids make at bay. It’s helpful to remember that this is a season!
This article has really inspired me to get rid of stuff so that our family can enjoy each other more! The author has a challenge with 4 videos that I am working through to declutter our house.
https://thebalancedlifeonline.com/how-getting-rid-of-my-stuff-saved-my-motherhood/
Yes! Thank you for sharing! I was afraid I was the only one driven mad by the toy mayhem. The worst for me is how nearly
impossible it is to have a place for everything. Toy organization may break me… but it’s nice to have a reminder to live in the now!
I appreciate your honesty on this! When I had my first child, I spent almost every minute of his play time trying to clean up his play area. When I had my second, I let things go for quite awhile, but the clutter started to really increase my anxiety, so I decided to de-clutter. Now that I have 3 kids in one small house, I’ve cut way back on their toys and we’re all much happier (and they actually PLAY with the ones they have, instead of jumping from one thing to the next!). I’ve also started putting a lot more of the clean-up onto them… I ask them to choose a time before dinner or before bed to clean up, and if it’s not cleaned up, they lose TV time until it’s done. 🙂 Just wanted to encourage you that it IS possible to keep your sanity… clutter is linked to anxiety and depression, and personally I just have to keep it a priority for self-care.