When I was 18, I decided to go to college out of state and without anyone I knew. It was terrifying, yet exhilarating. Blazing your own trail, finding yourself and learning to navigate the adult world all alone. Fast forward 11 years and three big moves, a fourth move on the horizon.
In the seven years we’ve been married, my husband and I have never lived in the same town as our families. In the early years, before kids, it was easy. Work, eat, go to the movies, sleep, repeat. One kid later, things are harder. We have never had a built-in babysitter {read: free}. I can’t make appointments without scheduling around my husband’s work schedule {read: I refuse to get a babysitter for a hair appointment, get my nails done, etc}. We don’t have Sunday afternoon lunches with each other’s family. Our daughter doesn’t get to play with her cousins on a regular basis.
But, guess what? It is amazing. It’s amazing what you can do alone. We have learned to be self-sufficient. By living away from family and your support system, you are forced to figure everything out yourself. That sounds much scarier than it really is. Promise.
By not having a babysitter at our disposal, we have taken our daughter almost everywhere we go. I go to the doctor, she goes. We go look at houses, she goes. We go out to dinner, she goes. She is wildly well mannered and I’d love to say we run a tight ship at home, but I know that she behaves well because she gets put into many different situations where she has to behave.
With getting to see family only a few times a year, and probably less as we prepare to move further away, it makes the visits that much sweeter. You learn to soak up every minute.
As a child, I was very shy, always second guessing myself, and I refused to call and order pizza or order my food while out. No joke. I am embarrassed to admit the latter, but it’s reassuring to know where I have come. I know that my independence is solely attributed to being self-sufficient.
With that being said, I want to challenge you, mommas, to take a risk. Maybe you want a new job, a new haircut, to move across the country. Take a deep breath and take a chance. Worst case, you fail. But, you will know the excitement and exhilaration that comes when you are doing something brave.
It is so easy to fall into a “funk.” Day in and day out, the same thing. Maybe you are getting burnt out with where you are. Dig deep, find something you are passionate about, and go for it!
If you are contemplating a big move, maybe job related or dream related, you can do it! It may be an adjustment at first, but you will survive. You’ll find a babysitter, a day care, a preschool, etc. in your new town. You’ll get to explore and make that city yours. When family and friends come to visit, you get to show them all the neat things that city has to offer. Another perk: when family and friends visit, they can play it up that they are on vacation! Whatever gets them to visit…
This sounds a lot like me. I went to college 4.5 hours away, but still in the same state (TX is HUGE). I haven’t lived in TX since I graduated college. My husband and I have lived in Maryland, Illinois, and now TN. And although I often miss having a built in babysitter and casual dinners with all three generations it’s been cool blazing our own trails. My husband and I have learned to lean on each other since there is no one else! Now that I think we’ll stay put here for a while our new adventures will be exploring the great outdoors this beautiful area has to offer.
Jaclyn,
You are so right! My husband and I definitely lean on each other so much! Moving around so much and always being there through the chaos, the stress, and all the new memories make me grateful for him!