My husband and I decided early on in our parenting journey that we wanted to be honest with our kids. We wanted to create an environment where any and all conversations were welcoming. With this philosophy, we’ve sought out books to help introduce topics, phrases, practices, and questions to help us open the hard conversations.
The books below are some of our favorites:
Emotions
We have always wanted to help our children know and name their emotions. We love My Heart by Jo Witek because it describes what different emotions may feel like in our body. It is adorably illustrated and has a super fun heart cutout running through it that my kids love.
I’m Happy-Sad Today by Lory Britain talks about feeling two emotions at once and healthy ways to express those feelings. It is a great reminder that feelings can sometimes be confusing. The book makes up names for two emotions at once, such as smad – being sad and mad – which our family has adopted as common language. The book also contains a guide for adults to learn how to talk about emotions to children.
A Kids Book About Empathy opens a conversation for how we practice empathy. It explains the difference between sympathy and empathy and gives practical steps for how to be empathetic. The world needs a little more empathy and this book is an excellent way to cultivate it in our children. (This book comes from a fantastic company called A Kids Co whose mission is to “empower a generation of kids through diverse storytelling.” They believe that “kids were ready to talk about the important stuff of life, and that books were sort of a magical way to open up those conversations.” They have books on periods, white privilege, money, depression, school shootings, and so much more. If there’s something you need help talking about, this company is a great place to start.)
We have always told our daughter that she has big feelings – she feels everything deeply and with passion. When we discovered The Boy with Big, Big Feelings by Britney Winn Lee, we found a book that made her feel less alone. The boy asks, “Why me? Why this big, giant heart in a world that’s so heavy and kind, where all of the feelings under the sun feel as if they were made to be mine?” He then proceeds to hide his emotions until he realizes other people have big feelings, too. This is a great book to validate a big feeling kid! (We also love The Girl with Big, Big Questions by Lee which is excellent for your kid who may get told they ask too many questions).
Race
Our Skin by Megan Madison is a great book to start the discussion about race with young kids. It addresses what makes skin different colors, what words we use to talk about people with varying skin color, and racist behaviors and what to do if you see them.
AntiRacist Baby by Ibram X. Kendi (author of How To Be An AntiRacist) teaches that an antiracist baby is bred, not born. He gives nine steps to being antiracist. The book also includes a guide for having conversations around race and racism with children.
Anxiety
Our daughter can get her mind stuck on something and worry about it for days. We love Ruby Finds A Worry by Tom Percival because it gives a very real image of what worry would look like if it was tangible. A little yellow worry grows and grows and is with Ruby wherever she goes. At the end of the book, she finds that by talking about her worry it gets smaller and smaller. We reference this book often, reminding our children that talking about worries will help.
An interactive book, The Worry Monster is written by child psychologist Dr. Catherine Cook-Cottone and features Worry Monster. Some of his worries are good and keep him safe. But others become giant and consuming. His teacher shows him seven Mindful Monster Moves that help him – and your child – stop the worry spiral!
Separation
Our family has fully adopted the language of The Invisible String by Patrice Karst. When my children were one and four years old, I had to live away from them for three months due to a cancer diagnosis. We knew it would be hard and so we sought out books to help us. The Invisible String talks about a string attaching our hearts. When we miss each other we just tug on the string and we can feel it in our heart. Now, almost five years later, both of my kids will ask, “did you feel me tug on your string today when I missed you?” It is a beautiful reminder that the people we love are always with us and we are never alone.
The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn tells the story of Chester Racoon who does not want to go to school. His mom shares the secret kissing hand with him so he’ll always remember her love is there. It says, “Now he knew his mother’s love would go with him wherever he was.” My daughter asks for (and gives me) a kissing hand any time she’s feeling scared about being apart.
Confidence and Enoughness
I’m Proud of You by Craig Melvin (Today Show co-host) is a celebration of all the ways a parent loves a child for who they are and not what they accomplish. We also think it is unique because it is written from a father to a son and features a mixed race family which reflects our own.
You’re Always Enough by Emily Ley and encourages kids to find their way to become who they were made to be. It is a gentle reminder that there is no such thing as perfection and each child is loved just as they are. This is an excellent read any day, but especially when your child is doubting themselves.
What The Road Said by Cleo Wade is a beautiful and powerful book about the winding road of life. It gives hope and encouragement to kids to be a leader in their journey. Wade addresses doubts, fears, and curiosities that arrive in life. The words read like a poem and the illustrations are wonderful.
I Am Enough by Grace Byers reminds children that we are all different but we are each enough. It encourages kids to love who they are, respect others, and to be kind to one another.
Personal Space
When my daughter was in kindergarten her teacher told us that she was often too close to other kids and was having trouble giving them space. We are a very snuggly family at home, but we needed to teach her about giving personal space when outside the home. Personal Space Camp by Julia Cook and Harrison P. Spader, Personal Space Invader by Christianne Jones are both excellent resources for this topic. Both of them explore what it means to give space, why we give space, and practical ways to change this behavior. We implemented some of the ideas with great success! (Harrison P. Spader, Personal Space Invader is part of a series of books called Little Boost which address lies, manners, jealousy, disappointment, and more).
Which books help you tackle tough topics?
