Recently, my youngest sister video called me and I got to talk to her and see my newest little niece in her sit-me-up chair. My sister mentioned my niece was able to sit in it for a couple minutes at a time, which is great, but anyone who’s had a baby knows that those few short minutes are a drop in the bucket when you’re keeping an infant happy for many hours of the day (and night!). “It feels like I’m just getting from nap time to nap time,” my sister said. “How much longer does it feel like this?”
Things change so rapidly that first year.
The sleep schedules, the eating preferences, how they move, what they notice — it all changes so rapidly. When you’re in the middle of that first year of motherhood, there’s just no way to understand. After your first, you at least have an inkling of how quickly things can change, even if your second does things a little differently.
The first few nights at home, no one has any idea what’s going on. Guess what? It will be different in a week. And then, maybe again in two more weeks. And then, possibly again two weeks after that! It could change for better or for worse. Sometimes, you feel like you’re getting so little sleep you have one foot in the grave…but I am here to tell you it does get better.
Sometimes, the baby does it on their own and sometimes, you have to change something up. But sometimes, there’s just nothing to do besides wait it out. To the moms in that space, I say: eventually it gets better!!
When my second son was testing my sanity and waking up six times a night as a six-month-old, I frequently thought back to advice from an older, wiser mom: eventually they grow up, and they won’t be waking you up crying or sleeping in your bed in high school or college. I know that sounds far away to a mom of a newborn, but it helped me have perspective as I walked the baby around his room for the hundredth time that night and felt like I couldn’t do it again. Eventually, he was ready to sleep train, about four months later. (And believe me, I tried earlier!) But eventually…it just gets better. Believe me, he’s two and he sleeps all night now. In fact, he was sleeping all night by one! I didn’t even have to wait for him to go to college.
And the days when you feel like you’re just getting baby from nap to nap? That will change pretty soon too!
Right now, they’re dependent on you to move, to put food in their mouth, to lay them down to sleep, to give them a toy. But six weeks from now? They’ll be six-months-old and eating new foods. They’ll be sitting up, rolling over, crawling across the room and the house, they’ll be picking up their own toys and starting to entertain themselves for a few moments at a time. They’ll stay awake for longer stretches and your days won’t be so defined by nap time. Maybe you’ll try story time at the library or meet up with another mom at the park. You’ll be able to roll a ball to them or read them a book that they actually seem to enjoy. You’ll start to see a tiny personality emerge from your precious baby that feels like the most special, unique, and also familiar individual you’ve ever met.
So, if you’re in one of those liminal spaces where you’re waiting, waiting, waiting for something to give…I’m not going to tell you to try to slow down and enjoy the time you’re in right now. I know you’re already doing that as much as you physically, mentally, and emotionally can, but what I will say is that it does get better!
