I Have WHAT Living in My Attic?!


I Have WHAT Living in my Attic

My husband and I laid our son down around 7:15pm last week and spent the evening watching Criminal Minds — that’s our thing. Well, more my thing as I am a true crime junkie. As I was getting ready for bed, I heard a few cuss words coming from the closet. I thought to myself, “I know I didn’t forget to do the laundry this week, what’s going on?” I slowly walked into the closet to find my husband on all fours with his phone flashlight on. He was brushing the carpet with a water bottle. The time is here my husband has finally cracked, I thought (they said it happens after a baby, right?). My husband pointed out a little black bug. Okay it’s a black bug, I thought; I’m going to bed (as I held up the peace sign). As I walked to my side of the bed, I happened to look down and OH MY GOSH, I saw another bug! I immediately went into panic mode and started sleuthing around the carpet like a crime scene technician in a Criminal Minds episode. I made my way into the playroom, flashlight on, using my detective skills, and I heard a strange noise coming from the ceiling. With a little bit of panic, I too said some cuss words. I called — maybe screamed — my husband’s name.

We had just moved into this house a few months before — what on earth made its way into the attic within the last two months?

My husband decided to take his investigation outside. I don’t know why he went outside, but I followed suit; I regret every moment from that point on. As we stood in the corner of our yard we saw 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…bird-looking creatures flying from our roof. As one flew a little lower, we looked at each other and without saying anything, we both knew what they were. I ran inside — no way am I becoming a Meredith Palmer from The Office. (I could hear it already: “Dunder Mifflin Scranton Kailey Ryan Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race For The Cure.”)

Full Moon, Night, Bat, Dark, Halloween, Darkness

Once I caught my breath and my husband came inside, we had a family meeting and decided (me mostly) that we could not sleep in the house, at least until we figure out what is in our attic and what in the world are the black little bugs (deep down I was afraid they were bed bugs but no one had bites). I called my mom at 11:15pm (aren’t parents great?), and told her we were coming over because we had bats and bugs. At the time, I felt as if we were about to be eaten alive and that if we weren’t out of our house in 15 minutes, we would all die. (As I get older I realize how truly blessed we are that we only live five minutes from our parents.)

The next morning at precisely 8am I called our local critter company, Critter Wrangler (they are the bomb). The wrangler found that we had a small colony of bats living inside our attic; there were visible bat babies and bat bugs (yes, bat bugs are a real thing). At that point I was ready to pay ANYTHING to have the bats removed immediately, but the joke was on us because between the months of May and August it’s illegal to remove a bat with babies. According to Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency, that’s the time “when fertilization occurs, usually leading to the birth of twins in early June. The naked newborn bats, which have eyes that are closed, remain with the nursery colony as the mother goes out to feed. They begin to fly at 3-4 weeks old and are fully grown at 2 ½ months.” During this time you cannot remove bats from any building.

“So you are telling me we have 20+ bats living in our house until September,” I asked the critter wrangler?! I love hosting parties, but typically the kind that end by 9pm. What are we going to do?! Nothing, literally nothing. As my husband and I lay in bed that night I reflected on last summer when I was six months pregnant; that felt like a long summer, but this one might actually be the longest summer ever.

While I am aware I am probably being dramatic, when you hear little scratches, chirps, and thumps while you are trying to sleep, your skin can’t help but crawl. 

Previous articleI Get Bi(ceps) with a Little Help from My Friends
Next articleFather’s Day Gift Guide :: Knoxville Edition
Kailey Ryan
Hi, my name is Kailey. I am a nurse, wife, and now a mom! My sweet Brady (any football fans?) was born in August 2018 and our lives will never be the same. I am a Knoxville native and absolutely love the area. Where else can you drive to a beach, major city, or mountains in less than 6 hours? I married my husband 2 years ago and we dated on and off since he was 16. We are both nurses so are our lives are crazy and unpredictable. I was an ICU nurse for 3 years. I have been fortunate to experience life being brought into this world as well as life being taken away. I have moved on from the ICU, but I will never forget some families I cared for. Yes, in the ICU you take care of much more than a patient. This is the worst day of many peoples lives and it's important you care for everyone. Nursing leaves an imprint on your heart no matter the type of nursing you chose. I am now a triage nurse, where I talk to people on the phone. While this is a completely different nursing than I have ever done, I am able to be a "stay at home mom" during the week and I work weekends from home. The sacrifice of working weekends is worth every day I spend with my son. If we aren't at work or home you will find us traveling or planning our next trip. We have a passion for traveling, our goal is to visit all 50 states. My "side hustle" is planning vacations for families. I have been a travel agent for 3 years and absolutely love it. At the end of the day all we have left are memories, I make sure each and every family creates lasting memories. When you don't find me working, planning vacations, or playing with my sweet boy, I will be by the pool. I'm most certainly not an expert on being a mom, but I hope to add some experiences and outlooks being a "millennial mom".


  1. We had bats in our old house. 🤢 If you haven’t already, check with your homeowners insurance. Ours covered the cost of removal and clean up. It is ex.pen.sive to have to pay out of pocket! Good luck!!

    • Oh my gosh Leslie you are a life saver! I’m going to look into this I know we are looking at $1,000 or more If they create a mess in the attic.

  2. Kailey, this is truly HORRIBLE! Here I am feeling sorry for myself because we’ve got some mice in our new house. Bats?! My husband would freak out because bats are his biggest fear. It’s crazy that you have to keep them until SEPTEMBER! I would have to move my bedroom downstairs.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here