When I found out I was pregnant with my first born, I was overjoyed. Seeing that plus sign set into motion infinite feelings of love, gratitude, happiness, and worry. Yup, even though my pregnancy had been desired, planned, and dreamed of, I started worrying as soon as I knew my body had become responsible for providing my baby a healthy and loving environment for the next 9 months.
It will come as no surprise to my close friends and loved ones when I say that I tend to worry…a whole lot. And sometimes, I have a hard time focusing on the present because I am too busy thinking about what the future might hold. Once I entered the topsy-turvy world of parenting, I became especially adept at identifying things about which I could spend waste my time worrying: is my baby meeting his milestones as he should? Are those sneezes going to turn into a cold? Is she eating, pooping, and peeing enough? Sound familiar to anyone or it just me?!?!?
Worry is my least favorite part of being a mom; I find it more exhausting than the sleepless nights that accompany the newborn days. I dislike it so much that I’ve come to think of worry as the underbelly of parenthood – it’s dark and heavy and eventually lumbers its way into even the happy and tranquil moments of life. And what is most nefarious about it is that sometimes prevents me from enjoying the overwhelmingly beautiful moments my children gift me every day.
So, here I am, making a promise to myself, my children, and you my friends that I will learn to be at peace with the moment as it is, without thinking about all the things that could go wrong, but rather operating from a place of appreciation and acceptance for what I do have. In other words, I promise to empty the middle of the negative feelings and thoughts. In it’s place, I’ll fill my heart and mind with the joy, exhilaration, and pride that accompany the journey of parenthood. Don’t get me wrong: just as I’ll always obsess over chocolate mint and will always check on my babies as they sleep, worry will always be a part of me. But it will no longer be the prevailing feeling. Instead, I will make peace with the moments as they are given to me, focusing on creating happiness and tranquility instead of worry.
How do you keep positive amid the stresses of parenthood? I’d love to hear your suggestions!
This is wonderful Francesca! I too am a worrier and probably waste too much time being “over prepared” for things that might happen. I’m working on it though 😉
Same here, Laura! I recently learned that about 80% of the things we worry about don’t transpire and those that do come about aren’t are serious as we had “prepared” ourselves for – so here’s to being less “prepared,” ya?
Oh Francesca…you? Worry? What encouraging words of wisdom : ) Well said!!! Less worry, more moments!!!
Great mantra, Julie! I will keep it in mind, my friend!
Beautiful. Well written. Being at peace is so important in mothering. I am a “Mimi” now, and find myself worrying over my g-babies…still learning to cast my cares upon the Lord, who alone can sustain us in every mothering season…
…thank you for a sweet, sweet post.
Thank you for your kind words, Sheila. Finding peace is so essential – words I will try to carry with me as I continue on in this season and in future seasons of motherhood.
“I promise to empty the middle…” that is a great promise! One that I need to make for myself. I wish I would have had this article before Hazel’s surgery. Thanks for your insight!
Jess, I think you do a great job at putting things into perspective and following through on your decisions, many of which I know have not been easy. I really admire that about you.
Francesca, I think you’re a fabulous mommy. And I know that your “worry” comes from a place of deep love and concern for your children! But I’m also proud of how much you’ve grown and how determined you are to not let your worry steal your joy. Blessed to know you friend. Thanks for a great reminder!
Thank you, Jenny for your kind words; they mean a lot! And thank you for the many times you’ve been there to let me bounce ideas/concerns off of you and for encouraging me to think about things from a different perspective.