As a parent, especially a mother, I tend to overreact. I think sometimes it’s a learned reaction as my mother was the same way, but one of my sisters stays completely calm in situations that I would have completely freaked out about. So, maybe it’s not so much a learned response as it is a self-control issue.
I’m sure all of us mothers have stories. Like the time our three year old fell on our cement front porch and busted his teeth. Blood was everywhere and his two front teeth were loose and you would have thought he had cut his arm off by the way I reacted. (But really, blood freaks me out.) It was a bad situation and I made it way worse by overreacting and not taking into consideration that all my kids were watching my response.
Then there was the time that I had a dream that my husband cheated on me and I woke up completely angry and wouldn’t talk to him. You know…because in my dream he wasn’t sorry at all and I was making him pay for that. Really? What was I thinking?
Oh and I can’t forget the times when all the kids were talking at once and I screamed, I mean SCREAMED for them to stop. A couple of them started crying, then I started crying and apologizing. It was horrible. Why did I do it? Why did I overreact to these things?
I can’t really explain it. It was in the moment but I am learning. I’m TRYING so hard to stop the cycle. I’ve made it a point to really stop myself before I react to situations that are stressful. You have to. Just stop and wait. I’ve got to think about what I want to say. Is it helpful to the situation? Will it make it worse? Will I have to apologize for it? What will my kids think about how I reacted?
I’d say a really good percentage of the times I tend to overreact are solely based on me and my stress level. Yes, maybe the kids were being too loud but they’re just being kids. And it only annoyed me because I was stressed out about something different and it was not their fault at all. But I took it out on them.
I’m learning that in all things in life, there just has to be balance. When I’m stressed, no one is happy. The kids (and husband) see it and feel it. And honestly, it’s just down right selfish. I’m not thinking about anyone else when I overreact to all these silly things. Does it really matter that the kids spilled milk on the floor? Is it really the end of the world that their room isn’t clean? Does it really matter that they stained their new clothes? No, it doesn’t. And overreacting in these situations just makes things worse. When I overreacted – literally, over spilled milk – and actually saw my kids’ self-esteem deflate in front of me, it was a horrible feeling that I will never forget. I don’t’ want to make them feel like that ever again.
So, STOP. No really. Stop everything when you’re about to overreact and really think about what you want to say. Stay calm. Your kids are watching you. Be who you want them to be when they grow up. Be the mom who laughs when they spill milk on the floor. Be the mom who smiles and stays calm when your kids strip down in the middle of Target and run the isles showing people their prized possession. Be the mom who finds humor in the mistakes and takes the time to teach the kids the right way (with a smile on your face) instead of punishing them.
