Death Of A Housewife: The Last Of The Dying Breed

What is a “good wife?” According to Housekeeping Monthly magazine from May 13, 1955, a “Good Wife” will: “Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal — on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.”

Holds back laughter. 

“Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.”

Excuse me? 

“Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.”

Have you ever tried to wash a three-year-old’s face? 

“Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes.”

Take off his WHAT?!

The 1950s did look a lot different from today, but that’s why the term “housewife” is the last of a dying breed.

The “mom guilt” we all experience now is rooted back to how our mothers (or grandmothers) raised their children and it isn’t comparable. If we look at what a wife was in the ’50s, we would see that the majority of the women stayed home. It wasn’t because they didn’t want to work, but rather their job was to tend to the children and home. Women’s wages were substantially different compared to men’s wages and often, women who interviewed for a job, weren’t offered the job. It wasn’t until after World War II that we saw more women going into the workforce.

Prior to the 1980s, the “housewife” role looked pretty easy (looks can be deceiving though — keep reading): Prepare the children for school, tidy the home, hang the laundry, cook dinner, and wash the children before your husband returns home. Why did we stop? The best guess is to keep up with the demands of living. Fast-forward to 2022 and it’s almost impossible to live without a dual income.

The hardest part about being a “housewife” in 2022 is the pressure, and social media certainly adds an enormous amount. If you aren’t creating Montessori boxes for your child by the time they are six-months-old, they may develop a sensory processing disorder (I read that on an Instagram post, I kid you not).

A 1950’s housewife wasn’t creating a sensory bin for a two-year-old, running three miles before lunch, taking two children to after school practice, and writing a blog all in one day. A 1950s housewife was baking cookies while watching the children kick a can outside.

Another reason the “housewife” title should be laid to rest is the evolution of a mother.

We no longer can keep up the demands of a busy home by ourselves and even if we could, it wouldn’t be for long. Mental health wasn’t discussed openly in the 1950s. Women were often unable to seek help due to lack of transportation and/or childcare. It is hard to make any assumption about the happiness of a housewife back then due to lack of mental health treatment. The taboo around mental health finally broke in the early 2000s and moms feel much more comfortable to ask for help today. The pressures of “doing it all” or being the sole caregiver has turned into my favorite phrase, “it takes a village” (which it truly does).

The term “housewife” should be laid to rest. Women should not be lumped into one single category. When is the last time you’ve heard a man call himself a “working dad”? Then why do we feel the need to say, “I am a working mom” or “stay at home mom”? It is all rooted back to the phrase “housewife.” If you aren’t a housewife, then what are you?

The funeral for “a housewife” starts at 6pm. I will see you there.