Confessions of a Crymommy

I suppose for the sake of full disclosure, I should tell you that I have never been exactly known for my tough exterior. I am 31 years old and I still catch grief from my family for scream-crying at the end of Boyz n the Hood (RIP Ricky), or the way I would crumple into a ball of tears and despair every single time ET got sick. My mom, normally full of patience for me, would say from the kitchen upon hearing my wails, “LINDSAY GRACE, you KNOW he gets BETTER!” But did I really, Mom? Did I? 

So, yes, OKAY, maybe I have never been exactly “stoic” or “a pillar of strength” or “someone who doesn’t cry at the end of 50 First Dates” (let me live), but what did me in once and for all? Ruined for good and forever?

My tiny humans.

I’m now extra-capable of crying about the best, weirdest things ever, and always with impeccable timing.

Here I give you some of my most ridiculous crymommy moments:

2002: The Birds

Immediately after our shotgun wedding, heading up to our honeymoon cabin, I mention to my brand-new husband that we may need to pick up a friend’s bird from her on the way home from our time in the mountains. NOT that this had anything at ALL to do with it, but I should probably mention that I was in my first trimester of pregnancy, and eighteen years old. TOTALLY UNRELATED OF COURSE, because anyone would question everything when I heard the next words out of Branden’s mouth:

“Ugh, no. I hate birds.”

And my world, you guys. It fell apart. Who was this man? Who hates birds? How had I known him for four years and not known this about him? Did I know him at all? How were we going to raise a baby in this sort of household?

All I could squeak out between sobs (SOBS) was, “What. If. Our. Baby. Wants. A. A. A. Biiiiiird?” And straight back into wailing. Branden looked terrified, like truly more scared than I’ve seen the man our entire 14+ years together, and that includes deployment and nearly being electrocuted (that’s for another blog). Bless him.

2004: That Lonestar Song

Around the time my oldest was born, the country group Lonestar had a song called, “My Front Porch Looking In.” That song contained the line, “There’s a carrot top who can barely walk with a sippy cup of milk.” I, too had a carrot top. Who could barely walk. Guess what was in his sippy cup? Oh yes, friends, you are correct: it was MILK. It did me in every time. My throat may be a little tight even now as I write this.

2005: Crush and His Totally Righteous, Little Bitty Voice

Crush from Nemo said words. I’d seen the movie before, but not since having a talking human child. He sounded like Bay. This wasn’t an all out bawl sort of cry, just a lip quiver and some teary eyes. We were later gifted a TALKING CRUSH and that was really great for me emotionally.

2008 and 2012: Build-A-Bear

We started a tradition with our oldest: the older sibling(s) make the new baby a stuffed animal to gift to them at the hospital. It’s not that the tradition isn’t a little tear worthy, because it so is; it’s just that you feel very dumb crying in the middle of Build-A-Bear.

2010: The Valentine

Baylor, completely unprompted, made his baby sister a Valentine’s Day card. I cried all the makeup off of my face in the name of sibling love and made us late for our Valentine’s dinner.

2011: Field Day

It was Primary School field day, and my son’s second grade class were the true underdogs in a finals match of tug-of-war. They came out victorious and it was exactly like the end of Rudy and Rocky and Remember the Titans and…okay, probably not, but I cried anyway. Don’t judge my journey.

2012: Science Fair

Jolee, then 4, made a poster and discussed how rainbows are made at our homeschool coop’s annual science fair. Rainbows and science and a sweet, tiny, so so smart baby girl: it was just too pure and good for this world. I don’t deserve Rainbow Explaining Jolee. None of us do.

2013: Sibling Talk

6 week old Elyn got excited and cooed up a storm for her siblings while they gave her every ounce of their attention. It was the absolute best and the absolute cryingest for me. That’s a word. Look it up.

2014: Disney World

So many things. When Jolee and Baylor got to be a part of the pirate demo. When a generally unimpressed Elyn lit up seeing Pluto. When the bigs and their cousin shared glow sticks with other kids during a dance party. Disney is full of wonder and this mama’s happy tears.

Please remember, sweet reader, that this list spans many years. I’m not this much of a mess alllll the time, Honest Abe. And I’m not alone. I submit to you the reason for the tears of my fellow crymommies:

• “Because It was time to go home from the hospital (after giving birth). So hard.”- Elizabeth
• “My son used to say he was going to marry me. When he got old enough to realize you don’t marry your Mom, he told me he couldn’t marry me. That made me cry.”- Taylor
• “Olympics commercials. Diaper commercials. Procter and Gamble commercials in general.”- Megan (and all of us)
• “Awards day of any sort. Home runs.”- Amy
• “I watched my daughter watch fireworks”-Brittany
• “I cried when my son wouldn’t drink the root beer float I paid a quarter for him to make at school because ‘it had coke in it mommy. We don’t drink coke. When I get big I drink coke but not now.’ I was so proud of him remembering our rules and so sad because I pictured all the other kids making and drinking theirs and him sitting there sad because I had ingrained a bad rule in his head or something.”- Laurissa
• “I cried because my children were playing together so perfectly in my living room.”- Jackie
• “Because the second time around I wanted a girl so bad. I bawled on the way home that I got what I wanted. But that meant I wouldn’t be buying blue.”-Andrea
• “The father/daughter song from Phineas and Ferb.”- Emily

Don’t leave us hanging: what are some of your best/worst crymommy moments?