“Comparison is the thief of joy.” President Theodore Roosevelt is credited with this phrase, and it is one, especially as a mom, that I remind myself of often. We live in a time where we scroll through social media and see living rooms that are cleaner than ours, houses with more square footage than ours, vacations that are more tropical than ours…you know exactly what I mean. Some of us can scroll and not think twice about it. Some of us may get inspiration from posts like these. However, some of us can get stuck in the “I won’t be happy until I have/buy/experience ____.”
We let our ice cream melt while we are counting someone else’s sprinkles.
You see, I have had some major mom guilt recently…doubting myself and my decisions. This started with potty training (bet you didn’t see that curveball coming). Those closest to me would ask when we planned on starting the potty training journey. Our pediatrician told us at the two year check-up that boys tend to take a little longer and start a little later than girls, but that our son would give us signs to let us know he was ready. I had heard horror stories about trying to ditch diapers too early and didn’t want that to be our experience. I was so caught up in what everyone else had to say. I compared their experiences and the ages of their kids when they started potty training to where we were. When someone would ask how potty training was going, I was embarrassed to tell them we hadn’t started yet. But guess what? He showed signs he was ready — not when friends or social media said he should be ready. We’re a few weeks in, so his excitement and pride every time he uses the potty still brings me joy.
You might be rolling your eyes or thinking this example is a little silly, but the fact that we feel so pressured to compare ourselves to everyone and everything is silly!
I know that some may feel comparison gives them a competitive edge at work or the gym, but that can be a slippery slope, too. Jon Acuff, a NYT Bestselling author, says, “Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.” You might be new to a barre class on a mat next to someone who just finished her 750th class. Don’t compare your plank time to hers; instead, find joy in the moment you are taking for self-care. You might be a first year teacher next door to a Pinterest-worthy classroom of a teacher entering year 10. Don’t compare your classroom to hers; instead, find joy inside your four walls.
“The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” Sometimes the grass really is greener on the other side of the fence…because it’s fake. Maybe that’s too harsh and “curated” would be the better word. The next time you are scrolling and find yourself comparing what you see on social media, remember this: you are getting a sneak peak of someone else’s highlight reel. Find joy in your messy living room — you have littles who play there. Find joy in doing the dishes — you have family dinner together.
