Do you feel like a fish out of water when you’re around your teen and their friends? It’s not you; it’s reality. Most likely, they do not think you are cool. They aren’t imitating your fashion or looking to you for tech tips. Your idea of the best movie isn’t going to be the one they will choose.
In a world where social media bombards us with picture-perfect families, trendy moms who seem to have it all together, and kids who are always smiling in the latest fashion, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling short.
Let me tell you a secret: I am not a cool mom. And you know what? I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
The Myth of the Cool Mom
First, let’s debunk the myth of the cool mom. You know the type: always on top of the latest trends, effortlessly juggling a career, a spotless home, and kids who never misbehave. She hosts post-worthy parties and somehow has time for a social life that rivals a Hollywood celebrity. She’s on Instagram, showing off her flawless life, and you’re left wondering how she does it.
The truth is, she probably doesn’t. Behind the scenes, everyone has their struggles and imperfections. Trying to live up to an impossible standard can be exhausting and ultimately unfulfilling.
Real Love in Uncool Moments
What does it mean to be an uncool mom? For starters, it means embracing the chaos. My house is often a mess, with used dishes strewn about and yesterday’s laundry still in the washing machine. My fashion sense is more about comfort than couture. But amidst this chaos, there is love.
Being an uncool mom means showing up for my kids, not just in the picture-perfect moments, but in the messy, challenging ones too. It’s staying up late to help with a school project, even if it means looking like a zombie the next day. It’s choosing a family movie at home over a trendy night out, complete with crumbly popcorn and blankets piled high on the couch. It means finding one-on-one time with each kiddo sometime throughout the week.
Lessons in Authenticity
By not being a cool mom, I’m teaching my kids the value of authenticity. They see that it’s okay not to have everything figured out. They learn that love isn’t about perfection, but about presence. They witness firsthand that it’s okay to be different, to make mistakes, and to grow from them.
My kids know that they can come to me with their problems, not because I have all the answers, but because they trust I will listen without judgment. They see me struggle and sometimes fail, but they also see me get back up, try again, and keep going. This resilience is a powerful lesson that no Instagram feed can teach.
Building Real Connections
Some of the best moments with my kids are the uncool ones, the moments when real connections are built are far from the curated perfection of social media. It’s trying on the prom dresses and navigating the insecurities together. It’s talking about the first girlfriend with your son and providing a feminine perspective and guidance. It’s riding to and from all the places and grabbing Sonic along the way. So much of life happens in the ordinary.
“That might sound boring, but I think the boring stuff is the stuff I remember the most.” — Russell (From the movie “UP.”)
Celebrating the Uncool
So, to all the uncool moms out there, let’s celebrate our ability to be real. Let’s embrace the messy, the imperfect, and the authentic. Let’s show our kids that love is about showing up, being present, and being ourselves, flaws and all.
