Hi. It’s me. Your friend that doesn’t drink.
Let me start this off by clearing the air: it does not bother me that you drink. If you order something for yourself when we’re out at dinner, I promise I won’t bat an eye. I am by no means judging you from a high horse; I’m actually just kind of hiding in a corner hoping no one notices me or offers me a drink.
I am firm in where I stand regarding drinking and I know there are moms all over the alcohol-consumption-spectrum that are confident in their stance as well. We’re all adults here and can do whatever we want. I’m just trying to bring awareness to the fact that not all moms want to bond over wine tastings or have mimosas with brunch.
The “mommy juice” culture has done a number on me personally, and I know I’m not alone, but please don’t think I’m here looking for a pity party.
There are so many reasons people choose not to drink. Sobriety, history of familial alcohol abuse, addictions, religion, and cultural and personal beliefs are just the tip of the iceberg. Most of the time, someone who doesn’t drink gets put in the position of refusing a beverage and then being asked why he or she doesn’t drink alcohol.
*Cue sweaty armpits and shying away from a possibly awkward conversation*
We get uncomfortable not because we’re iffy in where we stand, but because we know it isn’t the norm. People usually ask WHY out of general curiosity, when in reality, it isn’t anyone’s business. I’ll expound on that and add that the absolute worst thing you can do is say something along the lines of: “Oh come on. I won’t tell anyone. Here, just have a sip!”
New friendships generally start out great with lots of invites for outings and events. But, I have noticed that over time, usually once people find out that alcohol isn’t really my thing, the invites slow and eventually stop coming. (If you don’t drink, then you understand this.) And sure, I totally get that not everyone wants the fuddy-dud that doesn’t do alcohol at certain events. That’s not lost on me and I respect that! I have no hard feelings whatsoever.
I guess the point I’m trying to make here is this: some people turn down invites because it’s in their best personal interest, not because they don’t want to be friends.
